


The Road to Recovery

by Siri_Tachi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Bullying, Character Death Fix, F/M, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Torture, Wakanda (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 23,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24885613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siri_Tachi/pseuds/Siri_Tachi
Summary: Takes places after Endgame, during Far From Home. A semi-fixit.⚠️Mature: This story is rated mature for depictions of violence, depression, and suicidal thoughts and actions!⚠️TW: There might be panic and anxiety attacks, nightmares, and night terrors.Check out my other Endgame fixit, 'A Christmas Miracle'Enjoy ;)I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT ORIGINAL PLOT.
Relationships: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

Short backstory!

Please read this to be able to better understand the fanfiction, thanks!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

During the Second Battle of Thanos, when Tony transfered the stones to his gauntlet, he didn't die after snapping. Instead he's been in a coma, Shuri managing to keep him alive. His arm was restore using Cradle's technology. Peter is on his school trip to England and that area. 

End backstory


	2. The Call

*Peter's POV*

Happy had just shown me the separate room where I could design my new suit when my phone rang. I picked up in an instant after the caller ID read Mrs. Potts. Ever since the battle, I had been anxiously awaiting for the news that Tony had finally woken from his coma. "Mrs. Potts?" I asked quickly. When she responded it sounded as if she had been crying, making my heart drop.

"Hey Peter-"

"You've been crying. Oh gods, Tony, is he? He's not..." Before she could respond a voice interrupted her. A voice I thought I'd never be blessed enough to hear again.

"Hey kid." Said Tony's frail voice. I instantly started to tear up.

"T-tony? You-you're alive?" I asked, incredulous.

"I've been alive, just haven't been awake." He responded back. I shook my head in disbelief, I can't believe this is happening, this is amazing. Wait, is it happening? My face fell "No," I mumbled to no one in particular, "this, this can't be real. It's probably just Mysterio..." A bit louder a said, "Leave me alone Mysterio! Stop ruining my life!" I threw the phone at the ground, breathing heavily.

Eventually a voice broke the silence, "Uh, Peter? You alright?" Happy asked tentatively.

I just nodded, "Yeah, start flying. I'll be designing my new suit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Tony's POV*

I stared up at Pepper from my bed in the Tower's med bay. She looked just as shaken up as I'm sure I did. Gingerly, she set the phone on the small bedside table and turned to me. I reached out for her hand and grasped onto it. "What happened to my kid, Pep? What happened?" I asked with tears in my eyes. 

"I don't know," she responded, placing a kiss on my forehead, "but we'll figure it out."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note:  
So this first chapter is pretty short, I just felt like what happened next was more of a separate part. So yeah... Thanks for reading!  
Lots of love,  
Siri


	3. Afterwards

*Peter's POV*

Thankfully, no one had been killed during the final battle with Mysterio. Not even Mysterio himself, as medical attention had arrived quickly. I was happy about that, he didn't deserve to die. When I finally stepped out of the airport, I felt a tingle of my Spidey sense behind me as a man walked by, but just brushed it off. I was really tired, the jet lag catching up to me, and just wanted to go home and sleep. Apparently my body couldn't wait till home, because halfway through the drive, I fell asleep.

Too soon, I felt May shaking me awake. Groaning, I sat up and glanced at my surroundings, immediately realizing we weren't at our apartment. "Uh, May, where are we?"

"You'll see," she said. She hopped out of the car and managed to drag me along. I was still in the half asleep phase where you don't really comprehend much. We rode an elevator up many floors, too many for a normal building. Before I could ask where we were, the doors slid open. There stood Tony, by the living room couches, leaning heavily on Pepper and a cane. My mouth dropped just a little. "Tony?" I finally managed.

"Hey kid, it's really me." He responded with a gentle smile. I ran forward and hugged him tightly. I would have tackled him to the floor if Mrs. Potts hadn't been there to catch Tony. "Wo Pete, gentle on the old man," Tony joked.

"It was real, you were really awake." I whispered, not letting go of him.

"Yeah, I was, and we need to have a long talk about what happened to you while I was out." I pulled back and looked at the floor.

"Can it-can it maybe wait until tomorrow? I'm really tired..." There was a beat of silence before Tony agreed, which was an immediate relief. I really didn't want to go into the specifics of what had happened with Mysterio just yet, knowing Tony would be disappointed in me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night I didn't want to go to sleep, just stay awake and watch movies with Tony all night. But he wouldn't keep nagging me do I finally conceded. I guess it's karma though because right after Pepper told him to be a good example and go to bed as well. His argument was that he had been in a coma and had enough sleep for the rest of the year, bit seeing as it was Pepper, she won out. 

I plopped down on my bed, after my shower, wearing fuzzy Spiderman pajama pants. May had left shortly after supper but had arranged with Mrs. Potts for me to stay over for a week, maybe more. 

I sank into the soft matress and pulled the warm sheets over myself, quickly falling into sleep. That much needed sleep left me quickly as I began to have a night terror. They usually plagued me at night, after Homecoming, Thanos twice, and then Mysterio. I woke with a shriek, gasping for breath, trying to distinguish if this was reality or an illusion. And I was having a difficult time with it.

~~~

*Tony's POV*

I had had another nightmare earlier and was working in the lab ever since. It was about 1:47 a.m. when Friday alerted me to Peter's vitals, informing me that he was likely experiencing a bad dream. I hurried as fast as I could to where my so-to where Peter slept. Barging into the room, I could quickly tell that Peter was experiencing a panic attack. "Peter! Pete, oh gods!" I rushed to Peter's side and took his shoulders in my hands. "Hey, kid. Kid? I'm going to need you to listen to me. Alright, take some deep breaths." 

"Not...real..." Peter choked out through his sobs and gasps for air. 

"Actually it's very real, everything that's happening is very real. It's so real, I could go make pasta if I wanted to." I smirked. The odd wit seemed to calm the kid down some, though I was still confused as to why he kept thinking this was all fake. 

Peter began to regain control of his breathing if only slightly, so I kept using tricks Rhodey and Pepper used on me. "Alright kid, can you name five things that you can see?"

Peter lifted his head, slightly confused and but looking around. "B-bed, desk, window, TV, and my p-phone."

"Good, kiddo, good. Name four things you can smell." I continued.

"Shampoo, the sheets, y-you and pizza from tonight." Peter replied shakily.

"Who are your two best friends?" I was glad the kid was finally calming down more.

"Ned and MJ, but now MJ is my girlfriend."

"Wow, ok. More things to talk about. Seriously, she became your girlfriend and you didn't tell me? I'm kind of offended actually?" I joked, earning a small smile from Peter. "How're you feeling kid?"

"Like a crushed soda can." Peter said dryly.

"Um, weird comparison but alright. Scoot your boot." I told him. He moved aside and took a seat next to him, wrapping my arm around his small frame. "You know, you're not alone. I've been awake several hours because I had a nightmare too. Do you want to talk about it?"

Peter looked up at me in shock when I told him I had a nightmare as well. Then he dropped his gaze, "I-I don't know, c-can you maybe just.... Talk?" 

"Anything in particular kiddo?" I asked quietly.

He shook his head, "No, just talking."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note:  
I hope this slightly longer chapter makes up for the other short one 😬. Thanks for reading!  
Lots of love,  
Siri


	4. Let's Talk

Peter awoke to sunlight streaming through his windows. He was alone in his room but was fairly certain Tony had come in after he had a nightmare. Gods, how embarrassing. But did that actually happen? Was that real? Ugh, why was real so hard to determine these days. 

Peter sat up and grabbed his phone from its charging dock. Sixty-four unread texts from Ned, and one from MJ. Peter chose to open MJ's.

'Hey loser, don't forget about dinner tonight'. 

That brought a smile to Peter's face. He loved MJ so much, everything about her. However, he was very thankful for the reminder. Peter thoughts were interrupted by a knocking on his bedroom door. 

"Hey Pete, you up?" Tony called.

"Y-yeah, come on in." Peter responded. The doorknob turned and Tony walked inside his bedroom.

"Listen, I was thinking we could go out for breakfast and talk about, well everything. What do you say?" Tony offered, smiling.

"Oh, um sure. That works, let me just get dressed real fast." Peter said nervously, not at all looking forward to remembering everything that happens the past weeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter and Tony were in the car with Happy at the wheel only twenty minutes later. They arrived at a small diner not far from the Tower, and chose a booth far away from everybody else, near the back of the restaurant. They picked out a table and thankfully the waiter was able to keep her shocked face and stuttering voice to a minimum as she took there orders. "Y'know," Tony said casually, "I should probably consider scheduling a press conference to tell the world their favorite superhero is still alive."

Peter rolled his eyes, "Yeah, you should, but you got one part wrong."

Tony raised his eyebrows, "Me? Get something wrong? What would that me?"

"People love Spiderman more." Peter said, smirking.

Tony scoffed, "Ok, sure bud, keep telling yourself that. Speaking of the famous Spiderman, what the heck happened in Europe?"

Peter dropped his gaze but was saved from having to say anything when their breakfast arrived. They ate in silence for a few minutes before Tony once again reminded him why they were here, "So Pete, the Mystery thing?"

"M-mysterio." Peter sighed and began to recount the whole event with Tony, including the nightmares he'd been having since the Second Battle of Thanos. Unfortunately he also mentioned he'd had nightmares from Homecoming return which caused him to have to explain the whole 'building getting dropped on him' ordeal. Tony was pretty pissed off that Peter hadn't told him. But honestly, Tony's anger was more aimed at himself for not finding out the whole story, for not recognizing Peter's tired eyes from sleepless nights, and his signs of PTSD. Now though, he was pretty sure the kid had it worse than before. 

After Peter finished there was a minute of silence before Tony spoke again. "Oh gods Peter, I'm so sorry you had to go through this. You are way to young, you're a teenager for goodness sake, protecting the world shouldn't fall on your shoulders."

"But I have these powers, I can do incredulous things and so I should. People need to be protected, and I'm perfectly capable of doing so." Peter said.

Tony sighed rubbing his temples, "I just wish you didn't have to deal with the aftermath of it."

"It's ok, honestly, I'll be fine." Peter replied reassuringly.

"If this ever happens again though, including waking up with nightmares, you come get me. Understand?" Tony asked.

"Really Tony, I don't want to be-"

"Understand kid?" Tony interrupted. Peter eventually nodded his head. Suddenly, he snapped his gaze to one of the televisions in the corner. It was a news channel and it was talking about Spiderman. Tony followed Peter's gaze and a troubled look settled upon his face. 

Then a picture of Peter along with his full name popped into the screen. "No... No no no no." Peter whispered. Tony looked over to where the teen sat, whose breathing was quickly becoming labored. Tony whipped out his cellphone and called Happy, telling him to come inside ASAP. Everyone in the diner turned their attention to the panicking boy. 

Voices started swirling as a semicircle crowd formed around them, phones raised, videotaping and photographing the scene. Tony, who had previously been kneeling next to Peter, trying to calm him, looked towards the door when he heard the jingling of it's bell. He was delighted to see Happy hurry inside but his mood quickly turned when he saw how much trouble the man was having pushing through the crowd. 

"This can't be real... This can't be happening... They can't-they can't know..." Peter gasped, tears streaming down his face. 

"Hey, shh, kiddo it will be ok. We'll deal with it yeah?" Tony soother. Finally Happy stumbled out of the crowd and to where Tony was. 

"What can I do?" Happy asked hurriedly. 

"Ask the staff if there's a back exit, then I need you to help Peter out, I'm still to weak to help." Tony finished bitterly. Happy just nodded and turned to some of the staff, whose heads were peaking out from the kitchen. "Quick, do you have another exit?" The chefs glanced at each other before one of them pointed down a hall. Happy nodded and went back to Peter and picked him up, carrying him down the hall, Tony followed as quickly as he could, making sure no one followed. 

Thankfully, the car was parked nearby, and they hopped inside before any press, who were surely flocking after the recent announcement, could see them. "Punch it." Tony commanded, and the security guard obeyed, going as fast as he dared. Tony held onto Peter as he continued to cry, overwhelmed by the whole situation.

"I'm sorry, Pete." Tony whispered, "I'm so sorry."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note:  
Bum bum bum! Side note, in this fanfic, he wasn't framed for murder (because well Mysterio didn't die, and also, I have noooo clue how they're going to fix that mess). Thanks for reading!  
Lots of love,  
Siri


	5. What Will Happen

Peter was curled up against Tony's side, staring at the car floor, and grilling his t-shirt's hem anxiously. His mind kept swirling with thoughts of the future. "-eter. Pete? Hey buddy, we're back to the Tower, we should probably head inside." The voice pulled him from inside his head. Peter looked up at Tony, and slowly sat upright. Tony hopped out of the car, Peter following numbly. Stark wrapped his arm around teen and led them to the elevator, riding it up to their private living floor. 

Tony left Peter sitting on the couch and grabbed himself a cup of coffee. When he was walking back, he almost missed Peter's quiet and shaky voice. "T-tony, what's going to happen." He glanced to the man who had sat next to him, eyes wide with fear. "Oh gosh, what about Ned and MJ? What if someone goes after them. I can't-" Tony clamped a hand over Peter's mouth, gaining his attention.

"Calm down, kid. I sent Happy to pick them up. I figured you'd enjoy their company anyways." Tony calmed. The kid seemed to relax for a few seconds before becoming rigid again.

"May. May, she's at work she must have seen the news." Peter looked utterly terrified, unsure of almost everything at the moment. 

Before Tony could respond, the elevator doors slid open and May ran into the room. "Peter! Oh baby, I saw the news and came as fast as I could." May and Peter hurried toward each other. May tightly wrapping her nephew in a hug. "How are you doing, Pete?"

"I'm scared May, I'm really scared." Peter mumbled into her shoulder, tears beginning to again roll down his face. "What's going to happen? To me, to you, to Ned and MJ?"

May pulled back a little, and wiped the tears from his eyes, "Hey, you don't need to worry about me right now, and I bet your friends would say the same. Right now, it's about figuring this out, and making sure you can continue life normally."

Peter nodded hesitantly. "Thanks for coming May, I'm sorry you had to leave work."

"No no no, family is way more important than a job or money." May assured, "I assume Ned and MJ are on their way?" May asked, receiving another nod. "Good, let's hang out till they get here." 

May led Peter back to the couch and they both sat down. Peter was in-between May and Tony, nestled with several blankets they had tucked around him. Tony turned on NCIS and the three relaxed, taking comfort in each other's presence. For a little while, all their troubles seemed to melt away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

May and Tony were preparing supper. Well, May had been helping until Pepper returned. Since then, the two left Tony and had been chatting at the island. Peter leaned on the counter in a daze, staring at Tony while he cooked. Suddenly, he felt a sting from his Spidey sense, he turned around and was hug tackled by Ned.

"Dude, you were on the news!" Ned exclaimed. Ned stepped back and Peter saw MJ standing behind him. 

"I know." He responded glumly, throwing his gaze to the floor. Peter soon felt gentle arms wrap around him and smelled the MJ's familiar scent. He melted into the comforting hug, tucking his head into her shoulder. Much to early for his liking, MJ pulled away.

"I heard there's food." She said nonchalantly. Peter smiled a little, she always managed to lift his glum moods.

"There is indeed," Peter turned to look at Tony, and saw the man with a smirk on his face, eyebrows raised mischievously. Peter simply rolled his eyes. "Is the food ready, Tony?"

"Mhmm, grab a seat at the table, I'll bring it over." 

Dinner ensued with mostly quiet conversation and some laughter. They were all trying to raise Peter's spirit, but we're for once finding it a difficult job to complete. Finally though, Tony decided it was time to talk about. Clearing his throat he said, "Pete, I... I hate to bring up the elephant in the room so soon, but I need to. Listen," he watched as Peter set his fork down and pulled a leg against his chest, picking at his pants leg, obviously anxious. "the sooner we can schedule a press conference the better, less rumors, all that garage... Plus I should probably tell the world in still here, seeing as they think I'm hospitalized with a coma."

There was a long stretch of silence before Peter spoke, still not looking up. "S-so when are you thinking?" He quietly stuttered.

"Saturday." Tony replied casually. Peter whipped his head up.

"B-but that's only two days. I-I don't know if I'll be ready. " Peter panicked.

"Kid deep breaths, calm down. Like I said, the sooner the better." Tony quieted.

Peter nodded numbly before abruptly standing up. "I-I'll be in my room." He mumbled quietly, and hurried off. MJ stood and followed, and slipped inside his room, right before the door closed. 

She stood there silently for a while, as he apparently hadn't noticed her. But soon he started to cry heavily. MJ crept over to where he sat on his bed, facing the window. She sat next to him on the bed and wrapped her arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. "It'll be ok, Peter. It's been a rough day, but the sun's going down quickly."

"MJ, I... What if something bad happens on Saturday? Like someone attacks the building? Or I have an anxiety attack? Or-"

"Peter, stop." MJ said sternly. "Worrying about it will do no good."

"I know but what if I mess up? Spiderman isn't supposed to be a screw up and literally everyone is going to watch it, and-and Spiderman isn't weak, he can't be weak, MJ."

"Maybe, but Spiderman, is also Peter Parker. A teenager who doesn't need to be perfect for the world." Peter stared into her eyes, and could tell she was sincere.

"Do you... Maybe want to grab Ned, we can watch a movie?" Peter asked her hopefully.

"Of course," she smiled slightly, "I'll be right back."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note:  
Happy Birthday! Idk to who...Sorry it's been a while, busy week. Thanks so much for reading. Tell me your thoughts in the comments.  
Lots of love,  
Siri


	6. Press

Peter stood in front of his bedroom mirror, straightening his shirt out. Tony was gracious and said he didn't have to wear a suit, just a polo and dress slacks. There was a knock at his bedroom door as it creaked open.

"Pete, almost ready?" Tony asked, stepping behind him. "You look sharp, kid."

"Thanks Mr. Stark." Peter smiled nervously. Of course, Tony told him it was normal to have butterflies, that he'd be worried of Peter wasn't, but it felt like those butterflies were playing rugby inside him. "Mr. Stark?" Peter turned and stared at his mentor, "What if-I mean suppose-what will happene-"

Tony interrupted the kid, shoving a red and blue ball with a spider design on it into his hand. Peter glanced down it, "Uh, what's this?"

"Stress ball, you seem pretty anxious, thought it might help." Tony offered.

Peter smiled happily, "Thank you, again." 

"Also," Tony went on as he wrapped an arm around Pete's shoulders, leading him to the elevator, "I made these," Tony handed him air pods and sunglasses, "the ear pieces are modified to cancel out all noise, and the sunglasses will help with the flash. Speaking from experience, you'll probably want to constantly wear the glasses."

Peter inserted the ear pieces and wore the sunglasses, immediately the bright room darkened comfortably and he could no longer hear Tony's voice. "Mr. Stark, these are awesome!"

Tony just smiled in return, knowing his kid wouldn't be able to hear any words he might say.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony stood on stage, giving his part of the press conference, but Peter wasn't listening. He saw his Aunt, Happy, Ned, and MJ all in their designated seats in the front row. His heart pounded, Peter's nerves definitely getting the best of him. And then he heard it.

Those words.

His cue.

Peter plastered on his bravest smile and walked onto the stage. Instantly, brights lights began flashing. If not for the glasses and ear pieces, he knew he would have been curled on the floor, experiencing a terrible sensory overload. Peter made it over to the podium and raised a hand for silence. After receiving the go-ahead from Tony, Peter removed the tiny pieces from his ear. "H-hi everyone. I'm Peter Parker, also known as Spiderman. Now, I assume you probably have questions for me, so let's just jump right in. Oh, but um, please be quiet unless I pick you." He recited. They had written and practiced word for word the small introductory, so Peter wouldn't scramble for what to say.

Luckily, they obeyed, only a few noises escaping them. "Uh, you there, in the nice maroon sweater."

"Hello Mr. Parker, Mara Sanchez from the New York Bulletin. How old were you when you became Spiderman?"

"Well, I started as the friendly neighborhood Spiderman only weeks after I received my powers and my uncle died." Peter replied as the reporter nodded. "How about you sir, lovely suit by the way."

A small round of chuckles rolled through the crowd. "Thank you, Mark Hammer from the Daily Bugle. Just how exactly did you receive your sureal abilities?"

"I was actually on a school field trip to a company, whose name I won't disclose, when a radioactive spider crawled onto me and proceeded to bite me. I would like to inform that the company has since stopped creating genetically modified animals and disposed of all previous ones. So no worries folks, your kids won't spontaneously climb on the ceiling like spider freaks after getting bit." Peter pointed to another person once he was finished.

"Joshua Carson, USA Today. What is your favorite part of being Spiderman?"

"Other then being able to give Mr. Stark heart attacks by climbing to the top of Stark Tower, I'd have to honestly say the fact that I can help people. I know I'm making a difference, making New York a safer place, bringing a smile to people's faces." Peter finished. "Ok, how about one more. You there."

"Hello Mr. Parker, Bridget Smith from The Chronicle. How do you feel about a drunk playboy being your mentor?"

The crowd was silent. This idiot must have some brave stupidity. Tony was about to step forward, figuring Peter might be uncomfortable answering the question. Instead, Peter, place his hand on Tony's chest, keeping him at bay, while his eyes never left the woman. "Before I answer that let's get a few things straight," Peter said, deathly calm. "1. Ever since I came around, Tony hasn't touched alchohol, even though he went through hell between civil war and Thanos. 2. You must be a crappy reporter if you don't know that Tony and Pepper are happily married, and have been together for upwards of 10 years. Tony Stark is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He's like my father-figure, and I love him like one." Peter finished and stormed off the stage.

Tony wanted desperately to follow, but he needed to say one more thing. Stepping up to the microphone, he warned, "Anyone, any journalist, paparazzi, news media person, anybody, who follows Peter to his school, his home, his friends home, Stark Tower, his favorite sandwich shop, or the like, I will make your life hell. Thank you, now leave."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note:  
I've finally done it, I updated. I sincerely apologise for how long it's been. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think in the comments.  
Lots of love,  
Siri


	7. Freak

Tony pulled the divider up halfway through the car ride home. Turning to look at Peter, he said, "You're not a freak."

Peter whipped his head around to look at him, Tony's words bewildering him. "Wh-what?"

"During your little talk thingy," Tony continued, analyzing Peter, "you said, and I quote, 'you don't have to worry about your kids becoming spider freaks.' You are amazing and unique Peter. You're not a freak, you know that right?"

Peter gave a tight nod, "Mhmm." Before he turned his gaze out the window again. Unique? Amazing? That's not what they say...

"What who say?" Tony questioned.

Peter's eyes widened with fear and he hesitantly glanced at Mr. Stark. "D-did I say that out loud?" He asked quietly, wringing his shirt nervously with his hand.

"Yes you did. Who is 'they,' Peter?" Tony pressed.

Peter opened his mouth to say something. To deny what he had said. But before he could, multiple dings sounded from his phone. Looking down he saw a bunch of new text notifications. Why can't they just leave me along? Peter turned the phone of, his jaw clenched.

Tony watched the whole thing unravel and knew he had to see what those texts were. They were making his kid visibly upset, after all. Once he thought Peter was thoroughly preoccupied, he lunged for the phone sitting next to Peter. Somehow, luck was on his side and he managed to snatch it before Peter could react. As soon as Peter felt his phone move he lunged to grab it from Tony's grasp.

Too late.

Tony was able to hold the kid back, while glancing at all the text messages from various numbers. Peter couldn't tell what he was thinking. Is he angry? Disappointed?

Tony turned toward him with a blank look, "Peter what...what is this?"

"I-it's nothing. Really, just some kids from school..." Peter tried desperately to brush it off.

"This isn't just some kids. Peter, the things they're saying to you..." He glanced back at the various insults, "These are horrible. You shouldn't have to go through this, no one should. How-how long has his been happening?" He finished, a concerned look spread across his face.

Peter turned his head from it's depressed place looking out the window. His eyes were red and blotchy, tears quickly forming. "A few months, I... I returned to them, after the snap. It's only gotten worse now that they know I'm Spiderman." He whispered hoarsely.

Tony wasn't sure what he should say, what he could do. So he gave Peter what the he needed in that moment: a hug. "C'mere kid."

The kid melted into the embrace, as he begun to cry. "It hurts Mr. Stark. I'm supposed to be strong but it hurts."

"Shh, I know Pete, I know.", He comforted, "I guess we have even more in common."

"You've been bullied before, Mr. Stark?" Peter sniffed.

"I'm famous, of course I have. My early years, hell. You're never alone, Peter. Never." Tony pulled away, keeping a hand on the kids shoulder. The car rolled to a stop in the garage of the Tower. "Ready for a meal? Afterwards I'll get you a new phone and number, it might help."

"Food sounds great. B-but really Mr. Stark, you don't have to give me a phone, I can't ask that of you-"

"God's kid," Tony interrupted, running a hand over his face, "you can ask me for stuff. I care about you, and I'm a billionaire."

That won a small smile from Peter, which Tony was happy to see. "Let's go." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

As they walked out of the elevator onto the floor which held their bedrooms, they were greeted by an unexpected visitor. They had still been in conversation about the bullying but stopped mid-sentence.

"Mr. Bucky?" Peter asked confusedly, "What are you doing here?"

"Yeah, Manchurian Candidate, and why are you on this floor?" Tony questioned.

"I thought this would be the best place to catch you first. And uh, Mrs. Potts gave me access." He replied awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "But," he continued, "I um couldn't help but overhear your conversation and my advice is... a sword."

Peter and Tony just stared at him, at a loss for words. 

"What does the kid need a sword for?" A new voice called out." Peter and Tony turned to see Sam exiting the elevator.

"Ok does everyone have access to this floor?" Tony asked, exasperated.

"No, Pepper sent me down here."

Tony sighed and mumbled, "Me and her are going to have a serious talk about private floors..."

"Anyways, what is this sword about?" Sam tried again.

"Peters getting bullied, and a sword would work very well against them." Bucky explained.

"What would a sword-" he stopped as he watched Bucky pull out a sword, seemingly from nowhere, "wo wo wo, I don't want any trouble, Barnes."

Bucky turned to look at Peter, "See? The sword works perfectly!"

"How about," Tony said, gaining everyone's attention, "you tell me why you two are here?"

"Oh, right." Sam replied, "Well, we have a big surprise for supper."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Steve?" Tony asked incredulously. There, sitting at the kitchen table was Captain America, Steve Rogers. "I'll be darned, where have you been?"

"Taking a break, living a little." Steve explained, smiling contentedly.

"Living with me." A voice called out. One they should have never been able to hear again.

"Ms. Natasha?" Peter called hopefully. 

Around the corner, a familiar red and blond haired woman appeared. "Hey маленький паук." Peter ran over to give her a hug. Though Tony couldn't explain why, the two seemed to have a close bond, despite not being together much.

"Well, welcome home everyone."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note:  
Yay, Romanogers baby. Steve's NOT old btw, and if you're wondering how Natasha is back, I'm using the same idea to resurrect her as I did in my other Endgame book, A Christmas Miracle. So check that out. Anyways, let me know what you think, thanks for reading.  
Lots of love,  
Siri


	8. School

Peter's eyes slowly opened Monday morning. Groaning, he sat up. He was dreading going to school today, knowing everyone would be talking about him. Peter already had a headache from the stress of the idea.

Somehow, he managed to make himself get out of bed and ready for the day. Peter shuffled to the kitchen, slumping against the table. 

"Morning, Underoos." Tony said, way too happily. He had probably been up all night, allowing him plenty of time to have energy for the day. Wait...but he didn't sleep-

Peter groaned again, earning a chuckle from his mentor who placed a plate of eggs and toast in front of Pete. "Today will be tough, Peter, but it will get better. Will Ned and MJ be there?"

Peter gave a tired nod, lifting his head from the table to eat his breakfast. Soon, he was finished and him and Tony were on the elevator to the garage. Tony had insisted on dropping him off and picking him up from school. The ride to school, was void of conversation, Tony knowing Peter was nervous an probably didn't want to talk. The silence was filled by AC/DC playing in the background, softly, so as not to hurt Peter's sensitive ears. 

Too quickly for Peter, the arrived in the drop off Lane in front of Midtown.   
"I'll see you later Pete, alright?" Tony said, "I know you'll do great, and call if you need anything. Absolutely anything."

Peter playfully rolled his eyes. "Yes, mom." He responded jokingly. "Bye Mr. Stark, thanks for the ride."

Stepping out of the vehicle, he pulled his hood over his head and put on a pair of dark sunglasses. He gave one last wave before entering the building.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

By lunch, Peter was just so done. Yeah, he knew it would be hard. He had never imagined it would be to this extent. The cafeteria was the worst as all the voices were confined to one room, echoing across the walls, seemingly becoming louder and louder. 

Ned and MJ both sat next to him, staring at him nervously. "Peter?"

Even at the normal voice of his girlfriend, Peter still winced in pain. "I-I gotta...gotta go." He abruptly stood, rushing from the room. As he entered the hall, the noise became lessened, but not by much. He rushed into one of the bathrooms, and cursed when the automatic lights blinked on, the brightness hurting his eyes. Stumbling into the handicapped stall he crumpled to the floor, tears streaming from his eyes in pain. Only a few minutes later from what Peter could judge, though it seemed like longer because of his pain, he heard the bathroom door creak open followed by a familiar voice.

"Pete? Peter are you in here, kid?" 

Ned must have called Mr. Stark for me. He thought. "Y-yeah." He managed to say. Peter listened as the footsteps approached and knelt next to him, his eyes covered to block out the light. He felt the comforting presence of his mentors hand on shoulder,and something placed into his lap.

"They're your sensory overload glasses, you should probably put them on." The man whispered, "I've already signed you out of school for the day, we can leave when you're ready."

Peter nodded and screwed his eyes shut. He picked up the glasses and slid them onto his face. Immediately, the light lessened, along with the pain. He looked over to see the smiling face of his mentor. 

"Let's go, Pete." Peter grabbed onto the outstretched arm and stood on his feet shakily. The man wrapped an arm around the kids shoulders and led him out of the school and into his car. The divider was pulled up, separating the front from the back. Since Mr. Stark joined him in the, Peter assumed Happy was driving. That was until he looked over at Mr. Stark.

He watched as his mentor reached towards his face and pulled off a photostatic veil to reveal the face of his recent enemy Quentin Beck, otherwise known as Mysterio.

"Beck." Peter muttered in disbelief. "How?" He asked, trying the door handle to leave, but finding it locked, with no unlock button. 

"The details aren't necessary. But I'm afraid we can't have you leaving." He lunged forward and latched onto Peter's wrist, immediately stabbing him with a large syringe, inserting some strange liquid into his bloodstream. Peter instantly felt his body tense up, while he fell into unconsciousness.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note:  
Hehehehe. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think in the comments ;)  
Lots of love,  
Siri


	9. Gone

Warning: The next chapters will contain torture. At this point I am unsure of how graphic it will be. Please use caution when reading and skip whatever you need❤️

Where was he? Tony was confused when Peter didn't hurry out of the school like normal. He was terrified when he learned someone had come and signed Peter out early. He was curious when he saw the security footage of the man, who looked identical to him, helping Peter fumble out the doors. By the time he arrived back to the tower, the realness of the situation set in devastatingly hard.

He hurried his lab, and immediately slid behind his desk, searching for any possible leads. He had to find his kid.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter briefly woke up. He was in a metal cage, and by the strength of it, the metal was most likely vibranium. He glanced around, it seemed like a narrow storage facility. That is, until there was a violent jolt, and Peter began to panic. It was evident to him that he was on a plane, likely flying to another country. Peter desperately tried to control his breathing, not wanting to have a panic or anxiety attack. Ever since his parents died on a plane he's a pretty terrible fear of them. It had been a miracle that he had managed the trip to Germany. Of course, that was Mr. Stark's luxury jet. 

But now, he was in the cargo hold of what was probably a pretty crappy plane, kidnapped by his enemy, and flying to a foreign country, with not much hope of rescue. That's when he blacked out again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter's eyes fluttered open when he felt a tightness around his wrists. He lifted his head upwards to see his arms tied from a rope on the ceiling. He was stretched just far enough that it was uncomfortable, not unbearable. His needs rubbed against the hard concrete floor. 

Peter didn't have to wait long before his captor came in. "Beck." He growled.

"Ah, come on, Peter. What's that time of voice about?" Quentin countered, smirking.

"Haven't you hurt me enough with all the nightmares and newfound fears?" 

"Hmm, I was unaware of that. Just another perk I guess. But to answer your question. No. I haven't hurt you enough, you ruined me, and I plan to take my revenge." He continued, grabbing Peter's neck and pressing just hard enough to make it a struggle to breath. "You see, I want to break you, shatter you, until you, Peter, are mere remnants of who you were. And then I want to watch as you stupidly try to piece yourself back together, only to find it is a hopeless cause." Beck finished, releasing the pressure on Peter's throat who immediately gasped in breaths. Quentin nodded to a camera in the corner of the room and left, immediately followed by another strange man. 

Peter briefly looked at the man before his gaze switched to what was in his hand. He sucked in a sharp breath, horrified. There was absolutely no doubt in his mind what the object was.

A whip.

The man sauntered behind him and attacked his back mercilessly. The sharp pain was agonizing. He could feel every time the braided leather pierced his skin, leaving deep slits in its wake. Peter's eyes streamed tears as he screamed in pain. He shouted until his voice was raw and he could merely whimper. 

By the time the man finished, Peter was near unconsciousness. His limp body was dragged to what he assumed would be his cell, as his legs uselessly tried to walk along. He was roughly thrown into a room, landing on his back, causing him to gasp in pain, quickly rolling onto his stomach where he found only a little respite. He was vaguely aware of a door slamming shut. 

His eyes moved around the cell as he lay limply on the floor. The room was pitch black, the darkness suffocating. The walls, floor, everything, was rough concrete and stone. The air was damp and heavy, making it harder to breathe in Peter's bruised and battered form. His head dropped gently down onto the ground, and his eyes slipped shut.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note:  
Yeah, I guess I'm evil. And maybe a little heartless. But I'm here to tell you....It's only going to get worse! Hang in there y'all. Thanks for reading.  
Lots of love,  
Siri


	10. Wanda

Weeks. That's how long it had been. Well, 3 weeks, 3 days, 2 hours, and 37 minutes. And Peter was still missing. Since he was an Avenger, the new beginnings of SHIELD gave Tony a small task force to help in the search. But because the media had found out about the missing Spiderman only a week after the disappearance, the agents had been busy following leads from the public. All of them, however, turned out to be false.

The thought struck Tony as he glumly ate his food at dinner. He abruptly stood, face bright, "Wanda!"

Steve looked up at him confused, "Wanda?"

"Yes! Wanda," Tony explained, "she's been working on strengthening her powers, yes? And she can form those...those weird mind bonds, right? So what if she could form one with Peter? We might be able gather some information of his whereabouts."

Steve looked doubtful, "I don't know, Tony-"

"I don't care what you think, Steve!" Tony yelled, but quickly sighed, running a hand down his face. "I have to find him Rogers, he's my kid, I have to find him. If there's even a slight possibility this will work, I'm going to try." Tony turned on his heals and hurriedly left to contact Wanda.

~~~~~~~~~~~

It took some convincing, Wanda was quite reluctant at first, but eventually agreed to come back to the Compound. The next day, her and Vision walked into the main living area.

(Yes, Vision is alive. Fight me.)

Tony immediately stood and greeted the two. "Oh gods, I'm so glad you're here."

"Anything I can do to help, I will." She replied sincerely.

Tony led the two over to the couches and they all sat. Clint was there as well as Pepper. "Before we start," Wanda said, "I don't know what to expect from this. If the connection works, I might end up saying Peter's words, doing his actions. I honestly have know idea. But, no matter what happens, I won't be able to feel any of his pain, if he's experiencing any. So don't worry about me."

After receiving the go-ahead nod from Tony, Wanda closed her eyes, reaching out to Peter, and praying this works. Within only a few minutes, she was in his mind. Hearing his thoughts. Seeing his surroundings. In fear, she realized her-no, Peter's head- was underwater. Then with a violent tug of the hair she surfaced, gasping for air. This repeated multiple times. The choking, the gasping. "Please..." Peter whispered hoarsely, Wanda echoing the desperate plea. 

That crushed Tony. He could easily tell what was happening to his kid from his time in Afghanistan. Tony instantly broke down in sobs, leaning on Pepper for support as she rubbed his back comfortingly. In Tony's clouded mind he was vaguely aware of Wanda's continued gasping before the link broke. She collapsed, her body going limp. "Wanda!" Both Clint and Vision checked to see if she was ok.

Slowly, she shook her head to reality, "I'm fine...I'm fine, I swear. It just took a lot of energy is all." Wanda quickly became aware to the fact of Tony's shuddering body.

"Tony..." She whispered. The grown man gazed at her, tears streaming down his face. "I'm so sorry. I don't...I'm not sure where he is. I can tell you that Peter's far away, because of how hard the connection was to maintain. Peter's likely in another country."

Tony simply nodded his head and stared at the floor, shaken. "Thank you..." He managed, before leaving for his lab. 

"Tony..." Pepper called desperately when he stormed off, but to no avail. She glanced down at the three others, wearing a sad smile. "He really misses Peter. We all do."

Wanda nodded sincerely, "I will try again. There's still hope left. I'm just sorry he had to see me like that, it probably didn't help to know what's happening to his son."

"It's ok Wanda, you couldn't have known." Vision comforted. "Come, let's get some food into you and then maybe a nap would do you good."

"Yes, most definitely," Wanda replied, weak and frightened from the connection. She couldn't, nor did she want to imagine, the horrors Peter was facing. They were certainly rival to her and her brother's.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note:  
A Tuesday update. This is strange. Anyways, thanks for reading. Let me know what you think in the comments ;)  
Lots of love,  
Siri


	11. Hopeless

Peter sat depressed in his cold, dark cell. He was weak, so weak. Peter knew he was on the verge of death, he could feel his body slowly dying and fading away. He knew there was slim chance of rescue from the beginning, but now it just felt so much more real. There truly was no hope. And Peter was ready for the end.

The door to his cell swung open with a bang. Peter instantly dissolved into sobs, knowing only pain was to come. "Last day, runt." The large man growled. Whatever that means, Peter thought. 

Peter was ruffly pulled to his feet and dragged out the door and down the hall. They began to strap him to a metal table, adding to his anxiety. Whenever they did this it usually went one of three things was to happen: injections, waterboarding, or electrocution. Today it was the latter. 

Energy surged through his weak frame. A long time had passed since he had been able to scream, his throat too damaged. Peter's body convulsed, straining against the restraints that dug into his thin skin. It was painfully long until he finally slipped into the sweet respite of unconsciousness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wanda and Tony had been trying the connection daily, praying for some clue. But it never did any good. Tony stayed through the whole 'mind bond' time, though he usually witnessed his kid being put through pain. Even though it caused him immense anxiety and worrying, he would always feel a strange sense of guilt if he left. Something he couldn't explain, like he was letting Peter down.

They had begun to have Wanda lay on a bed in the medical center, as she was very weak afterwards. This time, however, when the link ended, Wanda gasped. "Peter....he's going to call you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter's eyes jolted open, and he blinked around, dazed. His body lurched again and he realized he was in a moving vehicles. The van stopped abruptly, the back doors flying open. Peter was harshly thrown out of the van, landing with a thud on the hard concrete ground. Black spots danced across his vision, and he was vaguely aware of the van speeding away. He managed to lift his head and judged that he was in a back alley way.

Peter laid there for a long time, trying to gather his strength. Eventually, he found it in him to stand. Crawling over to a wall for support he pulled himself into standing position, almost immediately collapsing. He stumbled out of the alley and looked down the street. It appeared to be a quaint, run-down little town. He had to walk quite a ways before finally finding an open business, a restaurant by the looks. When he walked inside the two workers watched him, bewildered. "Help...help me." He croaked, falling to his hands and knees. 

Peter's collapse seemed to shake them from their stupor, the older lady and who looked to be her son rushed over to help him. They hooked their arms under his and carried him to the back room, propping him in the corner, on a worn mattress. The woman shouted for something in a foreign language, and her son left to fetch it, returning shortly with a glass of water. Peter thankfully drank it.

"Phone...phone, please....phone..." The weak teenager continued to repeat the request, until finally, the man seemed to understand, pulling a cell phone from his pocket. Peter shakily pressed the only number his foggy brain could remember. However, as soon as the phone began ringing, he doubted the decision. I can't call Mr. Stark, he hates me. I let him die and now he hates me. Wait, but how can he hate me if he's dead. No, no Mr. Stark's not dead. Is he? Peter's thoughts were cut short by someone picking the line up. 

"Who the heck is calling me? I swear, if this is another fake lead about my son-"

"Mr. Stark..." Peter whispered hoarsely.

There was a beat of silence on the other end of the phone. "Kid? Peter, oh gods, is that you? Friday," he ordered, "trace this call, pinpoint the location!" Tony returned his attention to Peter. "Kid, I'm coming. I'm coming as soon as Friday's finished, alright? Are you safe?" Please tell me you're safe.

"I...I don't know. Please hurry I'm scared." Peter started to cry again, while Tony spoke soothing words. Finally, however, Friday gave Tony the location. 

"Peter, I know where you're at. I can be there in one hour, max. Can you stay strong just a little longer bud?" Tony asked quietly.

"Don't hang up, don't hang up, don't leave me..." Peter pleaded.

"I won't, kid, I swear. I'll always be here." Tony said, "I'm on my way."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note:  
So I debated about doing more to this chapter, but I decided to end it here. Uhm, thanks for reading, let me know what you think in the comments.  
Lots of love,  
Siri


	12. Hope-ish

Tony landed the jet in a park. Hurrying down the street, he followed the directions Friday gave him through an earpiece. When he finally came to the door, he pushed through without hesitation. A young man looked up at Tony and pointed to the entrance to a back room. Apparently they were expecting him. 

When Tony walked through the doorway, his breath hitched at sight of his kid. Peter laid on a couch wrapped in blankets, but he was still shivering. That can't be good, he thought. Tony quietly made his way to Peter and knelt beside him. "Kid."

Peter's eyes opened weakly, shining with fear. Tony knew that Beck must've fed him more lies while in his grasp. "I swear kid, it's really me. Do you remember when we were coming home from the press conference, and were talking about how you were bullied? And when we arrived on our floor Sam was there, and then Bucky came, and I was just so bewildered. Why was everyone on our floor?" Tony kept rambling about some of their favorite past memories until most of fear melted from Peter's eyes.

"You're here..." Peter rasped, relief flooding his voice. He faintly reached out to Tony, who grasped his hand reassuredly. 

"Yeah Pete," Tony replied, eyes filling with tears, "I'm here, and I'm never leaving. But listen, you're not safe yet. I have the jet-"

"No!" Tony was cut off as Peter recoiled away. "No, no, no!"

"Peter, I-I don't understand. I though you were fine with planes." Tony wondered aloud.

Peter humbly shook his head as he cried, "Parents....plane crash..." Tony easily put two and two together, since he knew the kid's parents had died. "Oh gods. Pete, I never knew, you should've told me. I didn't think anything would be wrong, you were fine traveling to Germany..." Tony trailed off at the end. "Kid listen, I know you're scared but this is the only way. I'll be with you the entire time, you will be safe. Trust me. Please."

Peter didn't answer for a long time, staring at Tony. Finally he nodded, so small Tony almost missed it, but it was there. "Ok...Ok, I'm going to pick you up ok? There might be some pain." Tony wrapped one arm around the kid's back and the other under his knees. Peter whimpered in pain as he was picked up by Tony, who staggered slightly. "Let's go home."

[UwU ←this is jerold. Say hi to jerold. jerold brings you time skips]

Peter had passed out halfway through the trip. Tony had called in for a medical team on stand by. Once the ramp lowered after they landed, four medics rushed on, immediately taking Peter into their care. Tony now sat in the waiting room, staring at the floor. He had been there for the past seven hours, awaiting the news on his son. Eventually Dr. Cho came out. "Mr. Stark?"

Tony's head whipped around, as he stood, "How is he?"

Cho's face was grim, "Do you want the good news, the bad news, or the really bad news?"

"Bad news I guess." He replied, face solemn. 

"He's severely malnourished, there's scarring on his back as well as his leg, and his vocal chord's were very damaged, most likely cause by any screaming. He needs to rest them for a long time." Dr. Cho stated.

"And the really bad news?" Tony asked warily.

"The electrocution he went through caused many problems with his heart. I would suggest putting him on meds but because of his enhanced metabolism-"

"Bruce and I will make something that will work for him." Tony said, already thinking.

Helen nodded before continuing, "There will no doubt be immense physchological damage, I suggest having a therapist come as soon as he can talk again. Finally, his leg wound was severely infected. The infection made it's way into his bloodstream..."

Tony glanced at her, "What are you saying?"

"Peter has developed sepsis. We have however, started him on the proper medication and are optimistic for a good recovery. That brings me to our good news; he's stable, and will most likely fully heal with enough time and proper care." Helen finished.

Tony nodded, absorbing all the information. "Thank you...Can I-can I see him now?"

"Of course."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note:  
Life's been....I'm sorry I didn't publish last weekend 😢. Also, I did my best on the medical stuff, but I'm not a doctor, please don't hate. Thanks for the reads.  
Lots of love,  
Siri


	13. Don't Talk

Peter remembered waking up periodically. Each time he would see varying faces: May, Ned, MJ. But one person was always there, Mr. Stark. Sometimes right next to him, other times by the door, but always there, watching over him. When Peter woke up for what he believed to be the sixth time, he was met by Mr. Stark, next to his hospital bed. 

"Hey kid." Tony greeted. Peter opened his mouth to respond, but Tony raised his hand, cutting him off. "Let me stop you there. Listen, the uh, the doctor said that there was significant damage to your vocal chord's, because, because..." Tony stopped to take a few deep breaths, "Anyways, she said it would be best if you didn't talk for a while during their healing process."

Peter subtly nodded as the information sank in. Next to him, Tony sighed. "Gods, kid, I'm so so sorry. This shouldn't have happened, you didn't deserve this." Tony ran his hands down his face as tears quietly fell from his eyes. "And I couldn't get to you. I had no idea where you were. I couldn't-I didn't save you. If you hadn't called..." Tony shrugged helplessly, angry at himself. "I failed. Tony Stark, Genius, Billionaire, Philanthropist, Failure. I'm sorry, Peter."

Peter leaned over and pulled his mentor into a hug, despite the protests from his body. "You're not a failure." His throat stung, even from just the few words. Tony held on to him, never wanting to let go. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Peter came out of his coma, he slept a lot the next week and a half. Weird right? You'd think you wouldn't be tired, but he was. He had just finished eating a bowl of mashed potatoes when another visitor came. "Hey MJ," Peter said groggily.

"Sup, Peter." She greeted, sitting next to him. "You know, if you ever disapear and get kidnapped and all that again, I'm going to kick your butt, Parker." MJ joked, cracking a small smile.

"I'll count on it." Peter replied, grinning. 

"It was really tough when you were gone." MJ said somberly, staring at her hands. "And then you were here, but in a coma...Don't ever do that again, you scared me, badly."

Peter wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I remember waking up occasionally, and I saw you a lot. Did you visit me?"

"Every day." 

Peter turned, looking at her, surprised. "R-really?" MJ just nodded in response. "Well," Peter continued, "I think some time together when we're both awake is long overdue."

"Like a date?" MJ asked, mood visibly brighter. "But I didn't think you were cleared to leave the med bay."

Peter shrugged, "I'm not. But I'd don't care."

"Wo there, rebel. Can you even walk yet?" She questioned. Peter grinned, "Let's find out."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah, Peter could not walk. So after collapsing to the floor, they found him a wheelchair. Surprisingly, they had not been caught by Tony, or even Pepper. It seemed they were home free. 

MJ wandered into the kitchen to grab some pizza from the other day when she came over. When she came back, Peter had already picked out a movie. "What's this one?"

"Oh you'll love it! It's called, 'In The Heart Of The Sea.' Tom Holland and Chris Hemsworth, some of my favorite actors, are in it." Peter explained excitedly.

"Interesting." MJ flopped next to him on the plush couch and pulled some fluffy blankets over the two. They were interupted, however, only 30 minutes later.

"What the heck do you think you're doing?!" Tony demanded, bewildered as to why his kid was on the couch instead of in the med wing.

"Oh, heyyyy, Tony..." Peter said, terrified. Tony just responded with an, 'explain yourself immediately' look. "W-well, you see. I had been there for so long and it was becoming very boring. And then MJ shows up and we wanted to hang out, so we...brought me here..."

"Uh-huh." Tony said, still staring at them.

Finally, MJ had enough. "Listen Stark, quit being such a dad and let us watch our movie." Tony was shocked, he wasn't used to being addressed like that, or being called a dad. 

"Um, ok then. One last thing though, did you take your meds Pete?" Peter sighed in response, "No..." Tony walked over to the kitchen cabinet and pulled out a small bottle, tossing it to Peter.

"I though you kept the bottle in the med bay, because I was still stuck in there." Peter asked.

"I do. I also keep some here, in the lab, and in your bedroom, in case you lose a bottle, or forget to take them."

"Oh... that's...Wow, th-thanks Mr. Stark." Peter said thankfully.

"Anytime kid, and uh keep it PG in here." Tony smirked, causing Peter to blush furiously.

"Mr. Stark!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note:  
It's been a while, but...ugh life. Also like 1K reads??? Holy crap, thanks so much! Here's a winter break update for your reading enjoyment. How was y'all's Christmas?? Eat any food? Anyways, I want to update some more on break. Thanks for reading, comment what you think!  
Lots of love,  
Siri


	14. Stars

Peter woke up with a cry, gasping for breath. He stumbled to turn on his lamp, the world spinning. Peter dropped to his hands and knees, waiting for the dizziness and pounding in his head to ease. His night terrors had progressively gotten worse over the three weeks he had been 'recovering'. The worst part was his sleeping pills were no longer working, meaning he existed on usually less than four hours of sleep. Knowing he couldn't rest, he quietly crept out into the hallway, making his way to the balcony. Peter stopped only to grab several blankets from the living room before quietly stepping outside. He made his way to the edge of the glass railing and dropped the blankets, forming a little nest. It was chill outside, but still rather nice for October. 

Peter dreaded the day to come, which was probably a factor to his sleeplessness. Tomorrow-well, today by this time- was his first meeting with his therapist. He had been told that he could talk about anything, including Spiderman. Peter hated it. He was in no way ready to relive the horrors Beck had forced him to endure. He felt so alone and scared. He was a mere speck in the vastness of the galaxy. So he looked at the moon instead, because someone, somewhere, was looking at it too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter felt a warm hand on his shoulder, and gentle shake. "Peter," the voice called, "it's time to wake up." Peter opened his eyes enough to see Natasha kneeling next to him. He groaned, rolling over. Natasha chuckled, "Come on, маленький паук, it is time to get ready."

Natasha held out her hand and helped Peter stand, wrapping an arm around the tired teenager and gathering the blankets in her other arm. "Tony is still asleep, go shower and I'll have breakfast ready when you come out."

"Thanks Ms. Natasha." Peter yawned tiredly.

"Of course, anything for you, Peter." Natasha made sure he made it safely to his room before returning to the kitchen to cook eggs and toast.

Not much later Tony shuffled out, immediately downing a cup of coffee. And another. "Better?" Natasha asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Perfect." Tony replied, pouring a third cup, but drinking it slower this time. Nat rolled her eyes before taking on a more serious attitude. "Peter was up again tonight. He went to the balcony this time." Tony sighed in response, resting his head in his hands.

"I know, he's up every night. I'm not sure what to do anymore. I've already increased the strength of his sleeping pills twice, I'm scared to do it again. I know he won't come and talk to me. I'm just...I'm at a loss Natasha." Tony explained, his voice desperate.

"Well you've been in his position before. How'd you find sleep?" Nat inquired.

"I didn't. I'd work in the lab until I passed out, which would usually take 5-7 days. I existed on nothing but fear and two plus gallons of plain, dark roast, extra caffeinated coffee per day." Tony said. "Not exactly healthy."

Natasha sighed, "Not at all."

"I just hope today does him some good." Natasha sent him a confused look, so Tony further explained, "I found him a therapist, Anna Schmidt. Today's his first appointment." Natasha nodded understandably, and continued making breakfast. Peter walked in a few minutes later. 

"Good morning," Peter said with a yawn, rubbing his eyes with hands. 

"Morning sleepy head." Tony greeted wrapping an arm around the teen who was seated next to him at the island. He could tell the kid was tired as Peter leaned against him, falling asleep again. Natasha sent a smirk at Tony, who was smiling like an idiot. "You know, it might help him if you could program Friday to alert you whenever Peter wakes up at night. Like you said, he won't come to you, maybe you should go to him."

"That's not a bad idea, I'll have to do that today. Thanks Natasha." He replied gratefully. "And thank you for breakfast." Tony thanked as she placed to plates of eggs, toast, and bacon in front of them. "Peter. Pete, bud time to wake up." Tony poked Peter several before the kid finally started to wake up. Peter's face turned red from embarrassment when he realized he had fallen asleep against Tony. He decided to distract from that fact by filling his face with food. Despite his nerves for the coming day, he still had an enhanced metabolism to please.

After breakfast, Peter had a few minutes before they had to leave. So he grabbed his favorite sweatshirt. What else was he supposed to do? "Peter, come on kid! It's time to head."

Peter sighed, walking outside his room. "I don't wanna go, Mr. Stark. Please sir, I don't wanna go."

Tony looked at him sympathetically, "1. I know it's a lot of nerves the first day, I've been in your position many times. But kid, you need to do this. It's your best option for the road to recovery. And 2, we've had this discussion, you can't say those words around me, it's very triggering. That was a really difficult time for me Peter."

Peter looked up at his mentor as they walked to the car. "For you? I'm the one that died!"

"Yes for me! It was very traumatic." Tony argued back. 

Peter groaned, "You are unbelievable some days, Mr. Stark. You know that right?" 

Tony smirked, "I don't know who doesn't."

~~~~~~~~~~~~


	15. Hold On

TW(spoilers below): So y'all, this gets pretty deep in this chapter. Please be careful, suicide is heavily contemplated in this part. Take caution reading and skip if you need to. I will add asterisks *** when I think it is safe, but the safe amount will be different for each person. 

When Peter stepped out of that room, Mr. Stark was still there. Right where he said he'd be. Tony was always there for Peter, why couldn't he see it? He smiled, "Hey Pete."

Peter put on a brave face for him, it was what he expected right? He couldn't bear to be a disappointment. Again. His parents, his uncle, his aunt...he'd disappointed all of them. They were all ashamed to call him their son-

"Peter? Look at me." Peter felt a a pressure on his shoulder and glanced up to see Mr. Stark peering down at him. Concern written all over his face. "Head out to the car, I'll be there soon." Peter nodded, shoving his hands in his pocket. 

This was supposed to help. why wasn't it working? The weeks since that first appointment had been a downward spiral. Peter took his anxiety medication. He took his depression medication. He took sleeping pills. Nothing. Helped. He just kept growing more and more tired. Peter wanted to be happy, but he just couldn't. Why? Why?

Why?

**** Careful reading***

And here Peter stood. He had school today, it was just a regular Thursday to everyone walking by. But he couldn't endure it. The taunting, the sneers, the whispers Beck had implanted in his brain. He looked in the mirror. But the person staring back was unrecognizable. What have I become? Worthless. A burden. Pitiful. Freak. 

Peter stared at the bottles in front of him. Accounting for his metabolism, how many would it take? All three bottles combined could probably do it. This was what he wanted. This was what he wanted. This was...what he wanted? But it was the only option. Peter would never be able to recover. He had died once before, couldn't be much worse this time. 

With shaking hands he reached for the first bottle, pouring all the pills into a cup. And the second. And the third. All the bottles empty he took the cup in his hand. It will all be over soon. He could have peace. The world would get by without him. 

But as Peter stared at the countless pills he held, he realized the truth. This wasn't who he was. Peter didn't quit, Peter fought. Peter... Peter... "Peter."

Peter watched, almost in slow-mo, as the cup dropped from his hands, the drugs spilling over the counter and onto the floor. His knees gave out and he fell against the wall behind him. Tears began pouring from his eyes as his breathing quickened and became labored. Peter felt strong and comforting arms wrap around him, pulling him close. He clung to the man. All was quiet except for Peter's sobs. Eventually, a voice broke through the silence. "Did you...you didn't take any...did you?" Tony asked cautiously, scared for the answer he may receive. However, he felt the kid shake his head, and Tony let out a sigh of relief. 

****Resume reading****

It was a long time before the room became quiet. Looking over, Tony realized that Peter had fallen asleep. Wanting to be able to observe the kid, Tony lifted the kid in his arms and headed for the living room. He was still shocked by how light the kid was, as he had been eating healthily since his kidnapping. Tony could feel the still present scars that marred his back and the few on his leg. When he laid Peter on the couch, he decided to check one other thing. Gently lifting Peter's arms he rolled up the sleeves of his hoodie. Tony hadn't realized he had been holding his breath, until he had confirmed there weren't any self-harm marks. Not to say there weren't any elsewhere, but Tony knew that the arms were pretty common. After all, hundreds of self-inflicted scars littered his own body. 

Tony grabbed a plush blanket from the couch's back, and spread it over his kid. Oh Peter, he thought, why did this have to happen to you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note:  
Wow...I don't even really know what to say. 

Here's a synopsis if you chose not to read: Peter has been faking his recovery for Tony's sake, while in reality he's just been progressively getting worse. Peter comes to the conclusion that ending his life is the only way, but realizes he doesn't want that when Tony intervenes. Peter eventually cries himself to sleep and Tony carries him to the couch, so he could make sure he's safe. Tony is relieved when he doesn't see any self-harm scars on Peter's arms, and hopes there aren't any anywhere else, as he remembers the hundreds that litter his own body. 

And yeah that's basically what happened. Let me know what you think in the comments. I also wanted to share this:

(PLEASE READ↓)

There is Still Some Time

By Jamie Tworkowski

If you feel too much, there's still a place for you here. 

If you feel too much, don't go. 

If this world is too painful, stop and rest.

It's okay to stop and rest.

If you need a break, it's okay to say you need a break. 

This life - it's not a contest, not a race, not a performance, not a thing that you win. 

It's okay to slow down. 

You are here for more than grades, more than a job, more than a promotion, more than keeping up, more than getting by. 

This life is not about status or opinion or appearance. 

You don't have to fake it. 

You do not have to fake it. 

Other people feel this way too. 

If your heart is broken, it's okay to say your heart is broken. 

If you feel stuck, it's okay to say you feel stuck. 

If you can't let go, it's okay to say you can't let go. 

You are not alone in these places. 

Other people feel how you feel. 

You are more than just your pain. You are more than wounds, more than drugs, more than death and silence. 

There is still some time to be surprised. 

There is still some time to ask for help. 

There is still some time to start again. 

There is still some time for love to find you.

It's not too late. 

You're not alone. 

It's okay - whatever you need and however long it takes - it's okay. 

It's okay. 

If you feel too much, there's still a place for you here. 

If you feel too much, don't go. 

There is still some time

~~~

You are loved, you are worthy, there is hope.

Stay safe my lovelies,  
Siri


	16. The Truth

Peter slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes. He was on the couch, though he wasn't sure why. "Mr. Stark?" He asked, still in a daze.

"Hey kiddo, I'm in the kitchen." Tony replied, "Lunch is almost ready." Peter wrapped the blanket around him and stumbled his way to the kitchen table. Upon sitting down, he promptly laid his head on the table. "You're still tired?" Tony chuckled as he set a plate of grilled chicken on the table. There were several other dishes that had chibata bread, lettuce, cheese, and other vegetables, along with bottles of sauces.

"This looks really good Mr. Stark, thank you." Tony smiled and took his seat at the head of the table, next to Peter. During lunch the two held casual conversation, Peter slightly confused by everything. As they washed the dishes together, Tony knew the inevitable had come. 

"Peter..." Tony sighed before before continuing, "do you know-do you remember what happened this morning?"

"I..no?" Peter's brow furrowed as he thought harder. "O-oh..." Peter's heart dropped in his chest, beating faster, "I remember now."

"I'd like to go on walk with you. At Central Park, can we leave in," Tony glanced at the clock on the microwave, "fifteen minutes?" 

Peter nodded stiffly and mumbled, "I'm going to grab a sweatshirt." Tony watched as Peter's form shuffled into his bedroom. Tony frowned, knowing they were both dreading the conversation to come.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter shuffled along the path. They hadn't said anything since lunch. Not in the elevator, not in the car ride, not during the first five minutes of their walk. 

"Peter..." Peter lifted his head slightly at the sound of his name, keeping his eyes trained in front of him. Tony continued, "I need you to tell me...what's really going on. Don't hide it from me. You don't have to wear a mask and make everyone think you're ok. You're not, you know it, I know it. And that's alright. Talk to me, please. No more running."

Quiet.

Tony was about to plead again when Peter spoke up. "Every day is hard. So hard. It's like I'm screaming...my mind, my body, my emotions. All shouting at me, but no one can hear. I wish I couldn't feel anything, I don't want to feel anything. I don't sleep, I stay awake all night and the few times I rest I can't. Because all I see is him, and the dark room, and I can't breathe. When I go to school I never make it through the day. My anxiety is constant. I cry in the bathroom or a closet when I can feel a panic attack coming. Ned and MJ, they know something is wrong, they know I'm not fine, but I don't say anything. I don't tell them a single thing, because I don't want to hurt them. If I'm not hurting myself it seems like I'm hurting everyone else, and there's nothing I can do about it...I'm broken." Peter inhaled shakily as tears trickled down his face. 

Tony was speechless, he realized how little he knew about what was happening to his kid. "You are not broken-" 

"Yes I am! Yes. I. Am! Too much, too much is wrong with me. How do you keep going when the worst things have happened to you?" Peter asked desperately.

"You take it one step at a time, and you don't walk alone." 

"But I am alone. Nobody knows what's happening, nobody can understand what I'm going through!" Peter shouted.

"Nobody?" Tony began quietly. "Nobody knows-" he scoffed, raising his voice, "Nobody knows what it's like to be kidnapped? To be tortured? To have depression and anxiety and insomnia and just, want to...die? Life is pain. I wake up in pain, I go to work in pain. Do you know how many times I've thought about ending it? Or tried to die? Too many to count! I'm haunted day and night by my past and the terrifying future that awaits me. Everyday is a struggle, and if I had no one....I wouldn't be here. But I have people, like Happy, Rhodey, Pepper, and you. Yes, you, Peter. And I live for them, because at times I'm feeling helplessly, desperately alone. It's hard and I work at it every day, and I believe I'm making progress but I don't know. Maybe I'm lying to myself, but I've gotten pretty good at discerning the lies my mind tells me from the actual truth." Tony exhaled shakily, wiping at the single tear in the corner of his eye.

Peter looked at him with eyes full of sadness. "Tony...I..."

"Didn't know. Because I don't tell people, I don't let them in. If I do, they'll look at me with pity. Tell me, 'I'm sorry', and I hate it. So shut everybody out, easier right? I thought so, it was for a while. But I realized that my life was empty, it was so lonely. And then...I had friends, and I don't know why, I was a mess of a person, I still am. But they stick, they stay, and...I...trust them. They're my safe place, they're my lifeline. Who is your lifeline Pete?"

"I-I...I don't think I have-"

"Who is your lifeline, Peter? Who!" Tony pressed, eyes boaring into the teenager in front of him. 

"You! It's you! You're my lifeline. You and Ned and MJ and May...gods, May. If I left...she would have no one..." Peter realized. He shook his head, "but Mr. Stark, it hurts, it hurts. Just make it stop, that's all I want. I want the pain, gone. But nothing has worked, nothing has made me happy, I don't even remember happy. So I've come to the only logical conclusion. This is the end."

"It's not the end until you've given up, and I don't think you have. If I hadn't stopped you when I did...I don't know, part of me believes that you wouldn't have gone through with it. But the other part of me, says 'you have no idea what he's been through, or what is happening in his mind,' and it's true. I don't know. But just the fact that you're here should persuade you, that you have another chance to get back up." Tony closed the distance between them, and grasped Peter's shoulder.

"You were given this life because you were strong enough to live it. Listen to me Peter, the world is going to beat you down over and over again. But none of that matters. What matters is how many times you stand up and fight. You are so much stronger than the rest of them, so stand up and fight. If not for yourself, then for your friends. You're family."

Tony pulled Peter into a hug. Peter finally let go, and all the emotions he had bottled up came pouring out in his sobs. When he had eventually calmed down slightly, he whispered a word. One word. That gave Tony hope. "Okay." 

"Thank you." Tony whispered, holding onto Peter like he might disappear again. "One more thing, just one more miracle for me...

"Please.. don't...die..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note:  
Its hard. Life is hard. Happy days, bad days, and we live despite it. Despite all the hell we go through. And someone, somewhere, loves you, they can't live without you. And the worst part about loving someone, is losing them.


	17. Whir

Tony turned to Peter as they rode the elevator in Stark Tower, having returned from their walk. "I was thinking that we could work in the lab. Distract ourselves, update Friday, build something; just like old times."

Peter glanced at him, considering it. Just like old times...and what are those? Happy times, I suppose. When we laughed, pulled all nighters, and ate pizza at 3 a.m. But I can never have that back again. You will never be okay, Peter, you will never be normal. You have become a freak, a monster. The only reason he does this is because he pities you. He doesn't love you, he can't wait to be rid of you-

"Peter." A gentle, yet firm voice caught his attention. He felt a hand turn his face, and Peter found himself staring into the eyes of mentor. "Don't listen to those voices. I don't know what they're telling you, but it's a lie-"

"Do you care about me?" Peter blurted out, full of uncertainty. 

Tony's heart broke once again, but he didn't let it show. If he did, Peter would feel terrible. "Of course I do, don't ever doubt it. You're like my son, I love you, kid."

Peter nodded, processing the words. "I-I'd like that...working in the lab." Tony smiled, it was a victory, a small step. He knew that on his worst days, all he'd wanted was to be distracted, Tony hoped it was the same for Peter. Pressing the button for the lab, he said, "And Peter, whenever the voices start talking, tell me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter and Tony worked long and hard. Well, mainly Peter, who was fixated on his newest project. Tony lent the occasional advice, but for the most part, he just watched to make sure the kid didn't explode anyone or anything. Around 6 p.m. they rode the elevator up to the main living area. As Peter entered the kitchen, he saw someone unexpected.

"May?" He asked dubiously. His eyes flickered between Tony and his aunt, as if questioning if this was real. 

"Hey baby." May greeted gently. Peter bit his lip, staring at the floor. Tony must've told her what happened. Gods, she must be so disappointed in me. I'm a screw up-

His thoughts were cut short when two arms wrapped around him tightly. "Oh honey, I'm so glad you're here." Peter tentatively hugged her back, finding comfort. "Tony told me what happened today," she said, placing a tender hand on his face, and brushing away a stray tear. Peter held onto her hand, keeping it there. "I love you, Peter. I want you to know that. And i know I'm not your parent, but-"

"I love you too May," Peter interrupted, beginning to cry again, "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry." 

"Peter..." 

"No! Listen. I was so selfish, wanting to die. I didn't think about how if I left you'd have nobody. I didn't think about how many other people would be hurt or killed if I wasn't there to save them. I didn't think about them or you or my friends or Tony. I just-I am sorry. I didn't want to have to endure this suffering anymore." At this point, both him and May were crying; and Tony would be lying if he said he wasn't either. 

"You're not selfish for wanting happiness and for the pain to be gone. You were, however, blind. You are not alone, you never were, never will be. You are loved and surrounded by people who have gone through this, who can help you. We're here, let us help you. Will you let us in?" May offered, eyes full of understanding.

Peter nodded shakily, not trusting his words, and furiously swiped at the tears in his eyes. "Alright, baby." May smiled, glancing at Tony.

Clearing his throat, Tony sat at the table, Pete and May claiming the seats across from him. "Peter, me and May were talking, and we thought best that while you recover, you be schooled here. At the Tower."

Peter furrowed his brow, this was certainly not what he expected. "We could either do book learning or an online curriculum; with how smart you are, you would certainly move faster, and could even graduate early. But from what you've told us, this could help decrease your anxiety and greatly help with media attention."

"Is this for real?" Peter asked, scared to hope.

"Of course Peter," May confirmed, "only if you want though."

"Yes. Yes, this is... amazing." Peter exclaimed. I can finally be rid of Flash. But what about MJ and Ned? They'll understand, right?

"One condition though, be honest with us, and your counselor. Alright?" May said sternly.

"O-okay. I'll try." Peter agreed

"That's all we ever ask for." Tony replied, smiling slightly. "And on this note, I think, that it is time for some food."

The three of them sat- well, Peter flopped- onto the couch, May on his right, Tony on his left. Each had a plate of Chinese takeout. While they ate, they watched Captain Marvel. But before the movie ended, Tony and Peter had fallen asleep, both exhausted from the emotional day that preceded this. 

Today had been a whirlwind. In no way, was everything healed. There were no, 'I finally opened up and now I am miraculously okay', clichés. But honesty is the first step toward healing. Admitting you need help. For how can one be healed when the illness is unknown?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note:  
I'm sorry updates are slow. This has definitely been the most difficult book I've written and has been a learning process from start to bottom. Direction has also been hard with this book, and I pray that I have not utterly failed in what I am trying to do. More chapters will come. Thank you for sticking with me and reading. Comment your thoughts. And message me if you ever need to talk.  
Lots of love,  
Siri


	18. Idk what to call this, I hope I remember to change it b4 posting...

Peter felt gentle fingers brushing through his hair, and he willed his eyes opened. Groggily he turned his head to see May smiling down at him. "Hey baby, how you doing today?" She implored softly. 

Peter gave an incoherent, muffled response, still not fully cognizant. "Mmph, what time...is it?" He asked, slurring his words tiredly.

May chuckled, "It is," she paused, glancing at her watch, "9:34 a.m." Peter shot upward, almost falling off the couch, which stirred Tony who had been sleeping peacefully at the end of the couch. "May why didn't you wake me‽ Oh gosh now I'm late for school."

The boy stumbled off the couch, scrambling to his room, when his aunt caught his wrist. "Peter! Calm down, I called the school and told them you wouldn't be returning for a while. We talked about schooling you online, remember?"

It took a moment, but eventually the confusion lifted from features, and his body relaxed. "O-oh...right. I'll um, just get dressed then." Peter awkwardly walked off, not returning for some time. When he finally did, he found May and Tony cooking in tandem. Peter slid onto a kitchen stool, resting his forehead on the counter, his damp hair sticking out in weird ways. Before long he heard clink of a plate being set in front of him. 

"Time to wake up, Kiddo." Tony said, as Peter lifted his head and picked up a spoon. 

"Maybe I don't want to. You can't make me. Maybe I'll just walk on the ceiling and leave footprints everywhere again." Peter mumbled grumpily. 

Tony raised an eyebrow, "Perhaps I am a bad influence, you've never been so good at sassing people."

Peter sighed and nibbled on his buttered toast. "Peter, we thought you might want to meet with your friends today to...talk with them. We could drop you off at a café if you'd like."

Peter slowly raised his eyes to meet Tony's, gaze darting between him and May. "Do you think it's safe, from-from him?," Peter paused, taking a shallow breath, "I... I'm scared Tony, but I don't want to be. How can I make it stop? I won't allow him to dictate my life anymore."

Tony wrapped an arm and his shoulders, pulling Peter close. "No, you're right. You are out of his control, he can't harm you anymore. Peter you're strong, if he shows up again, you can and will beat him. I know it. But if you need help, I'm only a touch away." Tony reached across the counter and grabbed and small box, sliding it to the confused teen. 

Peter gingerly removed the lid. Sitting on a black velvet surface was an elegant watch. "What is this?" Peter asked. 

"Well, it's a watch, but if you press on the glass top for three seconds it automatically sends an emergency alert to me." Tony explained, as Peter clasped the watch onto his wrist. 

Peter hugged Tony. 

"Thank you." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter's leg bounced up and down, his gaze darting around nervously. "Kid, relax, it's just like all the other times-"

"No, no it's not Tony!" Peter glanced out his window, thankful they were not yet nearing his therapist's office. "It's not like every other time because I tried to kill myself! And Anna-she thinks I've been healing, that I am better, than I have been. When in reality, it's the exact opposite! So don't tell me to relax or calm down or that it's just like before. Because it's not." Peter shook his head sadly, "What am I even supposed to say, she's going to be disappointed in me, just like everyone else."

"Peter!" Tony exclaimed, "Don't ever say that. No one is, or will be, disappointed in you. Anna will understand, she'll help you. Just be honest. Please."

Peter exhaled slowly, legs still bouncing, but he relented and gave Tony a small nod of agreeance. He gave Tony some hope. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter sat in the corner of the coffee shop, head bowed, hoping he wouldn't be recognized. He was no less anxious after his difficult counseling appointment, but he knew he needed to do this. Ned, MJ, deserved the truth. He felt a gentle tingle at the base of his neck. "Peter? What going on?" MJ asked worriedly. 

"Yeah, you weren't in school today. Is everything alright?" Ned implored.

Peter shook his, "No...everything's not - I'm not - alright." Peter gestured around him, and his friends sat next to him, on each side.

"I haven't been honest with you. With anybody, really." Peter drew in a long, shaky breath, "I have depression, and anxiety, and you know all this. Thing is, I haven't been getting better, like everybody thought. I've been trying my best, but nothing is working. This past Thursday - yesterday, actually - I almost took my life. You're probably disappointed in me...I'd be surprised if you weren't..." Peter was interrupted by both his friends attacking him with hugs. He leaned into the embrace, tears slipping down his face.

"Peter we love you, I love you." MJ comforted him, burying her head in his shoulder, "Never be disillusioned, we will always be here for you."

"Yeah Peter, we need you. You're our friend and we're going to stick together and help each other out." Added Ned

Peter sighed gratefully, "Th-thank you." The three pulled apart, all wiping at the tears spilling down their faces. MJ turned her head around, observing the room. Upon noticing someone at the bar seating staring at them, she grabbed the nearest book from the coffee table, hurling it at their head. 

When the book slammed into the person's head, Peter stared at her, panicked. "What? MJ‽ Why did you-"

"They were staring," she answered nonchalantly. "Yeah, my mom won't let me own a taser, so books are my next best option." 

Peter glanced around, his brain desperately trying to comprehend. Ned, however, nodded in approval, "You, MJ, a quite a formidable opponent."

MJ gave a nod of approval, leaving Peter still hopelessly confused.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors Note:  
This writing gig is really difficult some days. Sorry if this isn't that great of a part, I tried. Let me know in the comments what you think of the story so far.  
Lots of love,  
Siri


	19. Days Gone By

A/N: Each section is a different day. The count starts the day after Peter almost commited suicide.

~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Day: 34

Peter sat on his window seat, overlooking the New York skyscrapers. He watched as raindrops from the dark grey sky dripped across the glass, absentmindedly scratching his forearm. He'd been sitting there for hours, yet the colour of the sky hadn't changed much. It was still dim, still cold, still lifeless. There was a creak at his doorway, and he slowly turned his head around. Tony stood there. At least, he thought it was Tony. Peter could only make out the man's silhouette and a few vague features. 

"Peter?" 

He gave no acknowledgement of his name, instead returning his gaze to the window pane. Peter heard soft footsteps make their way across the room, and Tony sat across from him. "How long have you been here, bud?"

Peter blinked at him, "Four."

Tony furrowed his brow, glancing at the alarm clock which read 11:36 a.m. "You've been awake for four hours?"

"No. Since four a.m." Peter corrected. Tony frowned, leaning back against the wall, and observed the teen. It didn't take long for him to spot the ever growing red stripes running along Peter's arm. 

"Peter?" Tony caught his wrist, preventing him from further scraping his arm. "What's this?"

At first, Peter was confused, until he looked at his left arm, and saw the reddened skin he had rubbed raw. "Oh...I-I didn't notice. I swear, I didn't know-"

His words were drowned out by a deafening clap of thunder. Peter flinched away, spare tears escaping his already bloodshot eyes. "It's alright kid."

Peter glanced at him skeptically, "No. No it's not. You're angry aren't you? I'm pathetic, scared, I don't even know what I'm doing to myself-"

"Peter, I will never be angry at you. Especially not for this," He said, gesturing to Peter's arm. Another roll of thunder sounded across the sky, causing Peter to curl into himself. Tony saw this, "Peter, why are you afraid of the thunder?"

"It's loud, so loud. A-and it reminds me of the crack of the whip he would strike me with." Peter broke down into sobs, and Tony moved to hug him. 

"Oh kid, I'm so sorry." He whispered. Peter cried for almost an hour, and by the end he was emotionally and physically exhausted. "C'mon Pete, let's move to your bed." Slowly Peter unfurled himself. Leaning heavily against Tony, he walked - more stumbled - onto his crumpled bed. He laid on his side, still staring at the window. Tony sighed, "I'll be right back Peter."

~~~

Tony returned seven minutes later, a mug of green tea. Setting on Peter's bedside table, he was pleased to see that the kid's sat up, reaching for it. Tony sat on Peter's right, glad he had bought a queen sized bed for him. "Everything was fine. I was fine, why am I not?" 

Tony exhaled, long and slow, "I don't know kid, there's a lot of questions that...there's just no answer to."

"How do you deal with it?" Peter asked quietly, gripping tightly to his mug, legs curled against his chest. 

Tony chuckled sadly, "I don't, not really. I just put on a mask on go on like normal when on the inside, I want nothing more than to die. Because, I guess I don't believe that I deserve to rest. I don't think I have the time, because there's always something more to do."

"Is it true?" 

"No. You're allowed to rest, to say 'I need a break', to take time off for yourself, so that you can heal. And I think that's something that you, I, and probably a lot of other people too, need to work on." Tony said.

Peter took another sip of his tea, mulling over his words. "I don't want to listen to the voices anymore...can-could we listen to music?" He asked, finally meeting Tony's eyes.

"Absolutely, Peter. Anything you need, just tell me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Day: 35

Peter entered the kitchen, blinking his eyes at the bright light. The late afternoon sun shine through the large, twenty foot windows. Tony was looking over blueprints for his next project. "I read my history lesson today."

Tony spun of his seat to look at Peter, a smile on his face. "That's great Pete, I'm really proud of you."

"MJ texted me."

Tony drank from his fifth cup of coffee, "What'd she say?"

"She wants me to go see a movie with her. Tonight. A-at a movie theater." Peter provided.

"If you're up to it, I think that's a great idea." Tony assured. As Tony finished his coffee, Peter slid into the seat next to him, quiet.

"Ok. Ok, I'll go. But I don't want to draw attention to myself. How do you disguise when you're in public?" Peter asked.

"Uh, usually a hoodie, baseball cap, and sometimes sunglasses." Tony supplied, placing his empty mug in the sink.

"Why does that work?" Peter questioned.

"I don't know. Ask the writers." Tony finished, mumbling the last part."

Peter was confused, "The who?"

"Shh, forget I said anything. But anyways, a movie date sounds like a great idea. Just remember: baseball cap, hoodie, and sunglasses." Tony said.

Peter rolled his eyes, "Sunglasses are your thing. I'll be fine with a hat and sweatshirt."

Tony shrugged, "Whatever you day, kid."

~~~

MJ and Peter were leaving the lobby of the theater when he felt someone's eyes on him. Scanning the crowd, he saw a little girl, no older than seven or eight, staring at him wide-eyed. It was always the kids who could see under their disguises. Slipping away from her parents, she weaved her way towards him. Peter crouched down so he could be level with her.

"Are you the Spiderman?" She whispered. 

Peter nodded, "Yeah, that's me."

She flung her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, "Thank you for saving my sister."

Peter was taken aback. He certainly wasn't expecting that. "Of course," he replied, wrapping his arms around the small child. "Bethany!" He heard a voice call, and the girl turned to look at who was undoubtedly her mother. 

"I got to go. Bye Spiderman!" She said.

"Bye, Bethany, and tell you're sister I said hi. Ok?" Peter asked.

"Ok!" Bethany smiled brightly before skipping off to her family. Peter stood up, and glanced at MJ, who smiled warmly at him.

"You truly are a hero, Spiderman." She said.

"Yeah," Peter said, happy, "I guess I am."

~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Day: 65

As Peter blindly hurried from his room back to the living room, he stumbled into someone. Looking up he saw Rhodey. "Oh, h-hello Mr. Rhodey." Peter stuttered.

Rhodey smiled and nodded, "Good to see you again Peter. Especially under less grim circumstances." Rhodey shook off the memories of their actual first meeting, when Tony had been in a coma in the hospital. "But please," he continued, "just call me Rhodey."

"Right, sorry Mr. Rhodey. I um, have to get back to my friends," he said, gesturing to the teenagers waiting on the couch, "but we can catch up later." Peter sped off, hopping over the back of the couch and into his spot between Ned and MJ.

Rhodey walked over to where Tony stood in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee. "So how long did it take for him to drop the 'Mr.' nonsense with you."

"About two and a half years, his death, my near death, and four long weeks of imprisonment and torture by his enemy." Tony replied.

"So you're saying it'll be awhile?" 

Tony smirked and, setting his mug down, pulled the other man in for a hug. "Good to see you, Rhodey-bear."

"Good to see you too, Tones." He spared a glance at Peter, "How've you been doing?"

Tony sighed, "Let me tell you, kids are a handful."

"I know." Rhodey said.

Tony glanced at him confusedly, "Rhodey, you don't have kids."

He shrugged, "Maybe not, but you've been my friend since college and that's pretty much the same thing."

"Okay," Tony scoffed, "I will have you know that I make some killer grilled chicken sandwiches."

Rhodey looked shocked, "I'm impressed. But have you managed to cook pizza without setting it on fire, yet?"

"Seriously? That was one time and you promised not to bring it up." Tony said, exasperated.

"After the oven got so hot that it melted through the doom room's linoleum, I think I have the right to talk about it whenever I want." Rhodey sassed. "But seriously," he said, more serious, "how have you been doing?"

Tony opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by Peter's shout of rage. "Are you kidding me‽ That was totally cheating. You can't do that Ned!" Peter threw down his controlled and turned away from the screen where the three had been playing Super Smash Bros.

"I can and I did." Ned replied calmly, trying to hide a smirk, "You lost, bud."

"He's right,"agreed MJ, a smirk on her face.

Peter sighed defeatedly, "You're not supposed to take his side, MJ. And you where supposed to be my 'guy in the chair'." 

"Just because I'm the king of Super Smash Bros doesn't mean I'm not you're side kick." Ned supplied, "Now sit down and watch me beat MJ too."

MJ looked at him with disbelief, "Oh, it's on Leeds."

"I could almost believe that they were normal teenagers," Rhodey said, "if it weren't for the fact that they were playing their video games on an eighty-four inch TV."

Tony smiled, shaking his head, "No, this...this is normal. This is good."

~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Day: 83

"Tony?" 

Tony looked up from his project. Peter stood in the doorway, nervously. "Yeah kid, what's up?"

"Uh, um I think, I mean I'd like to... I'm ready to-" 

Tony smiled, "You want to try the suit on?" Peter nodded his head. "Works for me Pete, I'll meet you in the gym."

~~~

Peter hurried into the training gym, clutching his mask tightly. "Looking good, Peter. How do you feel?"

"Anxious. Do you think I can do this?" Peter asked.

"Peter, you can do whatever you want - within reason, mind you - and I'll support you. But if you're not ready for this, that's okay." Tony assured. "Would you like to put the mask on?"

Peter thought for a minute before discarding the mask on a nearby bench. "What's first?"

"I thought that we could start with just climbing on the wall." Tony offered, "We can do it over the foam pit if you'd like."

"N-no, it's fine, I can do it normally." Peter said, walking up to the thirty foot slate blue wall. He placed a hand on the smooth surface. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath. From behind him, he heard the whirring of the Iron Man armor encasing his mentor, save for his head. 

"I'll be right here to catch you if you fall." Tony reminded.

Peter placed his other hand slightly higher and stepped off the floor. He was sticking to the wall. Slowly. Deliberately. He made his way toward the ceiling. He heard the distant happy voice of Tony, "You got it, Pete! You're doing amazing."

He began making his way back down again. Once he was about six feet from the ground, he leapt off, landing gently on his feet. "Peter you did so well; I'm so proud of you." Tony said. "What do you think."

"That was wild." Peter breathed, "Oh my gosh...I actually did it. Can I try again?"

"Of course, who am I to stop you?" Tony stepped back, giving Peter space. The teen made his way to the top again, slightly faster. At the top, Peter made the foolish mistake of looking down. He was a dizzying height from the floor. His stomach dropped and Peter was instantly less confident. "Tony‽" He called out. 

"I'm right here kid." He heard the thrusters of the armor fire off the floor. He heard Tony hovering slightly below him. 

Yet Peter was scared. So scared. For absolutely no apparent reason. Peter was vaguely aware of the fact that his fingers and toes had slipped from the wall. He was falling. Suddenly Peter felt the cold metal arms of the Iron Man suit wrap around his torso, and they glided to the ground. "I've got you Peter, you're safe now. You're safe."

Upon landing on the floor Peter cried out in anger. He was there, he had been doing so well. Then he glanced away, and everything had come crashing down. Peter slammed his fist into the wall, frustrated. He punched the wall over and over again, each impact creating a larger hole. A metal hand clamped over his wrist. It horrifyingly reminded him of the overly tight handcuffs he had worn for weeks on end while he was kidnapped. Peter desperately kicked and twisted, trying to release his wrist. "Let me go, let me go. Please don't hurt me! Stop!" He cried out blindly.

The pressure on his wrist released and he crumpled to the floor, drawing his legs to his chest to create a tight ball. "Don't. Please. Stop, it hurts." Peter sobbed, the world spinning around him. 

"Peter." A voice called. Except, it wasn't the voice he was expecting. It wasn't Beck, was Tony. "Peter breath, deep breaths."

Tony meticulously made his way to the panicking teen, and kneeled in front of him. "Focus on my voice. Focus. Who am I?"

It took a long time for Peter to respond but finally he did. "T-Tony Stark."

"That's right, what can you see." Tony continued.

"You, window, a building beyond the window." Peter was still crying, but it had become easier to breath.

"And what can you hear?"

"You're voice, my heart beat, and cars... Lots of cars." Peter said, grimacing at the ever increasing loudness of the world around him.

Tony seed to notice as he lowered his voice. "Friday," he whispered, "Sensory overload protocol please." 

Friday obeyed, the lights flickered off and metal was noiselessly drawn across the windows and doors. "You're safe Peter," he whispered to the distraught teen, "You're safe."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Day: 84

Peter's alarmed blared at his side. 7:30 a.m., right on time. He slapped down the button, and his room delved into silence. It took several minutes, but he finally slid out of bed, dressing in sweatpants and a hoodie. Shouldering his backpack, he grabbed a banana from the kitchen. Peter was almost inside the elevator when Tony called from behind him, "Peter? Kid, where are you going?"

Peter turned halfway around. After a few seconds of silence he responded, "I'll be back, don't worry." The elevator doors glided shut. 

~~~

The twelve mile walk had only taken Peter around four hours. Arriving shortly before noon, he knocked on the small blue house's wooden door. Staring at his feet, hoping for an answer, Peter counted the seconds. 1, 2, 3...7, 8, 9....15, 16...22, 23, 24, 25.

Hesitantly, the door opened about five inches. Peter lifted his head hopefully. From inside, he could make out shining, baby blue eyes, thick yet short cut dark, chocolate hair, and the confused expression of the man. "H-hi, I'm Peter. We've met only briefly...but uh, we both know Steve. And since Steve trusts you, so do I."

"What's your name, kid?" The man's voice was quiet, guarded.

Peter furrowed his brow, "I said Peter-"

"You're last name. How do you know Steve?" He interjected gruffly.

"Right. Parker, Peter Parker; I'm the-the Spiderkid. I've been staying with Mr. Stark for a while, but I have some questions I thought you might be able to better answer." Peter hurriedly explained. 

"Peter," the man breathed, "Yes, of course. Come in, have you eaten?"

"I ate breakfast," Peter supplied.

"Well, lunch will be ready soon," he gestured to the dining table, "Go ahead and grab a seat."

"Thanks a bunch, Mr-" 

"Don't call me that," He said sharply, before calming, "please. My name's Bucky, just Bucky."

Peter nodded, pulling out his laptop and working on his maths lesson. Twenty minutes later, school was set aside as Bucky placed two bowls on the table, scooping them each a full bowl of chicken noodle soup. "Can I pour you something to drink?"

"Just water is fine. Thank you, for the meal," Peter answered gratefully. Something he noticed about Bucky was he always seemed quiet, his demeanor almost- timid. Not that he should be surprised, he had gone through hell twice over. The first few minutes of the meal passed in silence. "So Peter," Bucky ventured, "why did you come to me?"

Peter sighed, shrinking into himself, "After...everything with Toomes, Thanos, and then Beck," he shrugged, "I guess I developed depression, anxiety, the list goes on. You've been through it before, I thought you might be able to help." Peter shook his head, "This was probably stupid, I should leave. I'm sorry for wasting your time Bucky-" 

He stood to leave, but a firm hand caught his wrist. "Sit down." Bucky commanded. "Now."

Slowly, Peter returned to his seat, burying his head in his hands, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Gosh I'm such an idiot." He mumbled repeatedly.

"Snap out of it, Peter." Peter quickly looked up at him, eyes brimming with tears. "You're safe. Breath." He obeyed Bucky, trying his best to breath evenly. 

"I don't trust myself." Peter admitted, casting his gaze to the wall behind Bucky's head. 

"W-what?"

"Yesterday I tried to put my suit back on, it's been nearly five and a half months after all. But," Peter shook his head in defeat, "I couldn't do it, I don't trust myself."

"Neither do I."

"Then how do you do it?" Peter asked, "How do you put on your gear, grab you're gun, and go fight? How do you know you won't mess up and hurt someone‽"

"I don't. I can't trust that at the snap of a finger - sorry, I really shouldn't say that anymore - but that, in an instant I won't turn on my friends. But they know, Steve knows, how unstable I still am, and they're prepared for that. I'm never alone, never. Someone is always by my side, covering for me. How do I do it? I'm not sure. After all the lives I was forced to take, I don't know how keep doing it. But I do, because I guess deep down I know that if I don't, a lot more people - innocent people - would die. And I can't have that. I'm here to protect people, so I do.." Bucky leaned forward on his seat, "Listen Peter, it's taken a long time, and I still barely trust myself. Barely. You're doing fine, don't push yourself past what you're capable of."

Peter sighed, "It's just, I'll be doing so good, and then it completely shatters. By one thing. By something so stupid, and all the progress I've made, all the happy days I've had are ripped away. Torn down, and I'm nothing. I'm nothing."

"You aren't nothing. You're Peter, that's something, you're Spiderman, that's something too. You're loved, that's a lot. You and I, we're pretty similar. We're both fragmented, defective; slivers of our past selves... And somehow we're still loved. Why? We don't know. But we are, and that's something I choose not to take for granted. What do you choose Peter? Will question it? Fight the fact that you are loved? Or embrace it with open arms?" 

What happened next completely caught Bucky off guard. Peter lunged toward him. At first he tensed, ready for attack, but he quickly realized that Peter had wrapped his arms around him. Peter was hugging him, and Bucky returned the gesture.

Leaning back, Peter said, "Bucky, I don't know how to say thank you. I mean, 'thank you' doesn't cut it, really. Not at all."

"You can stay," Bucky offered, "I-I don't have company too often, but Steve and Nat are coming tonight for supper. You could, hang out here. Do you're school and then eat dinner with us?"

Peter grinned, "I'd like that."

~~~

"Listen son, I'm not going to have Stark riding my tail for the next months because I let his kid walk home at night, in New York City." Steve said sternly.

"Steve it's just twelve miles! And I'm Spiderman I can protect myself." Peter whined.

"Nope, not having. Besides, when was the last time you actually we're Spiderman?" Steve asked.

Peter shut up, he had no answer after all. It had been months since he had practiced. He would be rusty at best. Peter sighed, giving in, "Fine you can take me home." He swung his backpack over his shoulder, "Good to see you Natasha, and thanks Bucky, for everything."

"Come back soon, Peter." Bucky said, hopeful.

"I will."

~~~

As Peter rode the elevator up to the living room floor, anxiety set in. He wasn't sure what to expect. Sure, he had told Tony not to worry, but he knew it did no good. After all, Peter had just up and left, not even taking his phone with him. When the doors chimed open, Peter braced himself. 

Tony looked up from his seat at the dining table, abruptly standing upon seeing Peter. "Where the heck did you go? You just left, at 7:46 in the morning, and told me nothing but, 'I'll be back, don't worry'. Are you kidding me?" He shouted, "You can't do that Peter, what if something terrible had happened? Huh? I wouldn't have been able to reach you or help you! And if he had come back-" Tony inhaled sharply, rubbing his hands across his face, trying to hide his tears. He glanced at Peter, and saw the boy's terrified gaze, and how he tried to shield himself. Instantly it made Tony regret his outburst. "I'm sorry Peter," tears slipped down his face as he looked away in shame, "gods, I shouldn't have yelled. I'm just really worried and...stressed. Come here." Tony noted the boy's hesitation, "It's ok, please just, come here."

Peter shuffled to Tony, body still tense from fear. Tony wrapped his arms around him, holding him tightly, received that he was still alive, and safe, and he was back. "I was wearing my watch, y'know." Peter mumbled

Tony looked at him with confusion, "You're wha-" 

Peter held up his wrist, pointing at it, "My watch. That you gave me. I may be dumb Tony, but I'm not stupid."

Tony chuckled, strain from the day, melting off his shoulders, "I love you kid. And never, ever, do that again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~


	20. Day 152

A/N: So, remember how the last chapter was in day segments? Yeah, I'm continuing that idea here.

Day: (just...just look at the title, guys)  
~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter stood on the roof of Avengers Tower, overlooking the New York skyline. He stared at the street below, all the driving cars and the people busily milling about. Tony's voice rang out beside him, "Kid?"

"I have to do this. I'm ready to do this Tony, I know I am." Peter replied firmly.

"Right beside you all the way, Pete." Tony assured.

Taking a deep breath, Peter pulled his Spiderman mask over his face. He had been training nearly every day for months, slowly rebuilding his courage and assurance of himself. Today would be his first time swing through the city since...well since his school trip basically. Gods, has it really been that long? Peter hardly believed that it had been so long, and that he was actually doing this. Tony would be coming with him, in case of any problems. 

Peter stepped out onto the ledge, and fell. Stories and stories of various buildings flew past him as he plummeted toward the concrete below. A few dozen feet away from the ground, Peter shot a web at the skyscraper at the end of the block. He sailed smoothly into a gentle upwards arc. As he soared over the ground her could hear people below cheering for him. Thought they couldn't see it, he was smiling. The feeling was exhilarating, almost as exciting as his first ever time using his webs, so many years before. 

Evening slowly turned into night, yet Peter never wanted to stop. Suddenly Karen spoke, "I have picked up communication between a local gang and the Armada that is supposedly happening tonight."

"Peter? Who is the 'Armada'?" Asked Tony.

Peter clenched his teeth, "They're an infamous group of big-time weapons dealers. I've been tracking them for years, stopping them as much as I could. I had asked Karen to keep tabs on them for me."

"What type of weapons are we talking about." Tony asked, slightly more worried. Not just about who they were but that his kid had been chasing them for so long while on his own. 

"A few knives, mostly guns of all kinds. They had bought some of Toomes' weapons though I don't know if they still have any left," Peter explained swinging towards an abandoned warehouse and the outskirts of the city. "I've caught them with a few grenades and small bombs, and uh, some of your old weapons," he finished quietly.

"My weapons‽" Tony asked angrily. He stopped in front of Spiderman, forcing Peter to land on the nearest building. "How did they manage to posses those weapons? Why would you tell me about this? Why did you try to handle this on your own? Do you know how dangerous those weapons are?"

Peter sighed, "Yes your weapons. I don't know where they found them. I didn't deal with them much, and it didn't cross my mind often to tell you. And yes, I know how dangerous they are."

Tony paced anxiously across the roof, "Give me the address then go back to the Tower, I'm handling this tonight."

"Sorry Tony, I can't do that, you will need my help. And besides, we're already here." Peter slipped through a small hole in the corner of the roof. 

Tony's eyes widened, "Peter!" He whisper-yelled. With visible exasperation, his faceplate slid down and he found started searching for a larger entrance. "What do you see Peter?" He asked across the com channel.

"It's huge Tony," Peter murmured. He crouched on the ceiling, veiled in darkness. "There has to be more than twenty people here. Around a dozen Armada members, including one of the higher ups. I've only seen that guy once before."

"And they're weapons? What are we dealing with?" Tony questioned.

"Nothing good. They're still unloading their truck, but so far about six semi-automatic guns, two of your Tellor Propellant rifles, some really small devices that I can't make out, and..."

Tony was filled with fear and dread. He couldn't imagine what else there might be, "And what Peter; what do they have?"

"Tony it's your Sonic Canon." Peter whispered; fear, panic, and anxiety overwhelming him.

Tony's stomach plummeted, and he had to take a moment to calm himself. "Peter, listen carefully, you have to leave, right now." He waited for a response, but was only met with the soft crackle of static.

"Peter? Kid, answer me-"

"They saw me." Peter's voice was so faint, Tony could barely hear him. "Tony please come-" the kids voice was cut off by sudden gun shots. Tony wasted no time in exploding a hole in the roof and flying through. What he saw terrified him. Eight men were focused on attacking Peter, while the others had turned their attention to Iron Man. 

"Friday, call Steve!" Tony shouted as he began firing at those below him. Distracted, he didn't notice a man to his left shooting a Tellor Propellant rifle at him. The bullets hit their mark on one of his foot repulsors, damaging it. Tony began semi-fallimg haphazardly toward the ground. "Son of a-"

"Tony?" Steve asked, "It's 11 p.m. what-"

"Steve I've got a huge problem..." Tony grunted as he dodged a man's brass knuckles. He had been forced to land and fight on the ground, something he especially hated. "Friday send him the address. Listen Steve, just come quickly, bring Bucky, bring Nat, and be ready to fight."

Steve was bewildered at the short, frantic, phone call. "Steve?" Natasha asked confusedly.

Steve looked at her worriedly, "Tony's in trouble, suit up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve, Natasha, and Bucky made good timing. They arrived at the warehouse in only nine minutes. As the trio raced toward the entrance they could already hear bullets flying inside. Steve slammed open the door, "Tony?"

"Steve, thank goodness you're here." Tony said. "You and Bucky come help me; Natasha, I need you to disable those Sonic cannons."

Steve and Bucky ran to help Tony while Natasha made quick work of the two men standing near the cannon. "Stark, any tips?"

"See if you can pry open the back panel with a knife. Whatever you do, don't cut the orange and red wire." Tony aided.

Steve and Bucky arrived quickly to help him, "Can you handle this?"

"Do what you need to do, Tony." Steve assured. From the corner of his eye he saw Tony rush off to a back corner, where Steve assumed Peter was.

Tony was glad to see that the kid was fairing so well. Only four of the original eight men were left still fighting. "I've got your back, Peter."

Together they were able to take out most of them with in a matter of minutes. Before Tony could turn to help Peter with the last man, the criminal was able to reach into his pocket and pull out a small device. With a click of a button, a piercing noise shot through the air. "Friday, cancel all outside noise."

Sweet silence flooded his senses; however Peter wasn't so lucky. Tony watched as his kid jerkily fell to the floor, trying to cover his ears. He wanted to rush over to where the kid was lying, but he knew the fight wasn't over. He shot a repulsor toward the man with the device. The ear-splitting noise ended promptly. Unfortunately, the damage was done. He circled, surveying the rest of the warehouse. Luckily he saw no more conscious gang or Armada members. What he did see was the rest of his team fallen to the floor. Bucky was the first to speak, "To-ny, what.... happened." He asked brokenly, the effects of the Sonic taser barely wearing off.

"It...it was some of my old technology." Tony answered shakily. He heard a whimper from behind him and was brought back into focus. Tony ran and knelt next to Peter. Hesitantly he pulled off the Spider-Man mask. What he saw made him want to cry. Peter was pale and sweaty, blood dripping from his ears, covering the sides of his head. "Friday, run an analysis. Injuries...what are-"

"Peter has bruises on his abdomen, a bullet graze on his left shoulder along with a fractured collarbone, a concussion, ruptured eardrums, and sensory overstimulation." Friday responded.

Tony was on the verge of panic, "Call Cho, tell her - tell her we need her help at the Tower medbay." As much as Tony knew it would hurt his kid, he slid the Spider-Man mask as gently as he could over Peter's head. "Karen activate sensory overload mode."

Suddenly, a heartbroken voice spoke over the com channel, "Tony? It's...it's Nat. She's-" the voice was replaced by a sob. 

"I'll be okay Steve. I promise, you'll be okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note:  
Yes, this has taken two weeks to publish. Should I have written over Easter break when I had four whole days of no School? Yes, yes I should have. But did I? Nope, not a single word. I swear y'all I'm trying, I really am. This book has just gotten so hard sometimes to have inspiration for; it's a struggle. Anyways happy more quarantine. Life sure does suck sometimes.  
Lots of love,  
Siri


	21. Who Knows Anymore, I don't

Peter awoke later than next day. He blinked his eyes blurry against the bright lights. Glancing towards his left he saw Tony, and next to him Steve. The events of the night before hit him like a tidal wave.

"Kid-you're awake!" Tony exclaimed. 

But Peter wasn't listening, his eyes drifted past his mentor to the still form of Natasha. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he continued, tears trickling down his face. 

Steve raised his head from his seat next to Natasha to look at Peter, his face full of concern."She's okay, kid. She's all right."

"It's my fault," Peter said.

"No, Peter, it's not," Tony replied firmly. "Natasha came of her own accord, because she wanted to. She knew the risks, and she willingly took them. Don't blame yourself for anything that happened last night." Peter didn't reply, instead staring at the ceiling and silence. 

Tony sighed. However, the one still form of Bucky at the door to the medbay waved him over. Bucky waited to speak until they were in separate hallway, "I have an idea."

Tony nodded, "Spill, Barnes." 

"What if we were to take Peter Wakanda?" Bucky offered.

Tony furrowed his brow, "For how long?"

"However long it takes." Bucky responded.

Tony mulled the idea over in his head, pacing the hall. "You think this will work?"

"It did for me, and I know it will for Peter. He's come far, but he still has a long way to go. Especially when it comes to his fighting." Bucky explained.

Slowly, Tony nodded, "Who will go with him?"

"Me and Steve." 

"Alright." Tony conceded, "We'll tell Peter at breakfast tomorrow." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"

Peter," Tony started, "Bucky and I would like to talk to you."

Peter looked up from where he sat hunched over his cereal. "What is it?"

Tony and Bucky shared a glance. Bucky began, "I was talking to Tony the other day, and well, I think would be good if you were to take a... vacation... Wakanda." Peter opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by Bucky. "I know you may not like the idea, but it would be good for you. You've improved a lot, but I still think they could really help you, especially when it comes to your fighting." 

Peter was silent for a long time, thinking over what had just been proposed. "I don't want to leave until Natasha's awake," he muttered.

Tony nodded, "That works. It will give us time to settle plans with the King."

~~~

Only four short days later, Natasha awoke. Steve was still sitting by her bedside, like he had done day after day. "Steve..." Natasha mumbled drearily.

"Nat, how do you feel?" Steve asked.

"I'm fine." Natasha responded, trying to push herself into a seated position. Steve helped, moving the bed into a more upright position. "How long have I been out?"

"Only five days. Gods, I'm so glad you're okay." Steve said.

Natasha smiled, movement at the doorway catching her attention. "Looks like you're not the only one either."

Steve turned and saw Peter, fidgeting just outside the room. "I-I just wanted to make sure you were okay, Natasha. Before I left."

Confusion clouded over Natasha's face. "Where are you going?"

"Me and Bucky will be accompanying Peter on a trip to Wakanda." Steve explained.

Natasha grinned, "Well, I wasn't there for long, but from what I know you'll liked it, a lot. When do you leave?"

Steve answered. "Tomorrow."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Steve and Bucky had already boarded the quinjet all the luggage, now Peter stood at the bottom of the ramp, waiting. Tony came up next to him, "You ready kid?"

Peter sighed, biting his lip, "You're sure you're not come with us?"

Tony smiled sadly, "Yeah Pete, I'm sure. But you'll be fine. Bucky and Steve will be with you."

Peter stood there, not moving. Soon enough, however, tears started to roll down his face. "The last time I left, it was Europe. A-and then Mysterio happened, this mess started, and I... I almost died." He finished softly.

"Oh Peter..." Tony hugged Peter, not letting go until the kid had stopped crying. "Bucky and Steve will not let anything happen to you, neither will the Wakandans. I promise you, you'll be safe."

Peter stared at Tony, "Ok."

Tony smiled, "I'm proud of you, Peter. make sure to have fun with the princess, I have a feeling you two will get along just fine."

~~~

The quinjet landed mid afternoon. "We're here," Steve called, "be ready to meet the king." Bucky and Steve headed down the ramp side by side, with Peter trailing behind. Waiting for them was King T'challa and princess Shuri, along with their dora milage.

"My friends," greeted T'challa, "it is good to see you again."

Steve smiled, "It's been too long." 

"White wolf!" Shuri exclaimed, hugging Bucky.

"Hello, Shuri." Bucky replied happily.

"The real question is," Shuri continued, "where is my broken white boy?"

Bucky stepped aside, revealing where Peter had stood, hidden. "H-hi. I'm Peter, Peter Parker."

Shuri grabbed his wrist, pulling him towards the palace entrance, "Let's go Parker. I have a lot to show you."

T'challa sighed, "Shuri is too excited, she's going to scare the poor boy."

Steve grinned, "I think her and Peter will be good friends."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's note:  
This is all I can manage right now, happy birthday, I hope you like it. Thanks for reading.  
Lots of love  
Siri


	22. Days In Wakanda

*this will be set up into separate sections like days*

After a tour of the entire palace, Shuri and him had ended in the dining room and eaten supper. He did not understand how that girl had so much energy. Peter, now in his room, collapsed on his bed, utterly exhausted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, there was a faint knocking sound at his door. "Peter?" Bucky called, "Are you up?" Bucky heard a tired groan and then a loud thud come from inside the room. Cautiously opening the door, Bucky saw Peter tangled in a mess of sheets on the floor. "You okay?" He laughed.

"Hmph... What time is it?" Peter mumbled. 

"Time for an amazing Wakandan breakfast. Up." answered Bucky. Slowly Peter pulled himself from the sheets and made his way to the ensuite. Only fifteen minutes later, Peter left his room, hair still damp and wearing jeans and a t-shirt, to find Bucky waiting for him.

The breakfast was unlike any other had seen. The table was full of fruits, eggs, bacon, biscuits, ham, sausage, patties, pancakes, waffles, breakfast cakes, and many foods Peter had never seen. They sat near the head of the table, next to T'challa, his mother, and Shuri. 

Peter quickly filled his plate with food. His day metabolism had never been so excited. Steve and Bucky were talking with king, but Peter wasn't listening; it was probably just boring old people stuff like weather. Shuri reappeared at his side, having left to grab who knows what. Planning a cup of dark liquid in front of him, she said, "Try this."

Warily picking up the cup, Peter sniffed it; it didn't smell half bad. Taking a small sip, his eyes instantly brightened. "Shuri what is this?" He asked, drinking more.

"Cold brew," she replied, sipping her own, "with a special syrup added in for sweetness."

Draining his cup he explained, "More. I need so much more." Shuri, happily obliged, pouring him another cup. 

Peter drank this one slower, savoring every drop. He looked at his left, "Steve, Steve, Steve-"

"What kid?" Steve asked.

"Have you ever tried cold brew?" Peter questioned seriously.

I'll look of horror came across Steve's face. "You tried coffee?" He groaned, "Tony's going to murder me."

"Relax, it was only two cups." Peter assured.

"Only? Only two cups‽ You shouldn't even have one!" Steve said, full on panicking.

Shuri rolled her eyes, "Come on Peter, let's go to my lab."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Though he'd seen it the day before, Shuri's lab still impressed him. "What are those‽" Shuri asked wide-eyed.

Peter glanced to where she was pointing, "They are my web shooters."  
Grabbing his wrist, Shuri turned it every which way, examining the technology. 

"Pretty impressive, but I could do better," she said smirking. She hurried over to a computer console, "If you take one off, we can take a 3D image of it and make it two more advanced."

Peter's heart sped up. Take it off? Peter never took them off, not even to sleep. He supposed it was more of a comfort thing. That way, in case he was ever attacked, he would be prepared. "Go on, what are you waiting?" Shuri urged.

Hesitantly, Peter unlatched one of his web shooters, handing it to Shuri. He nervously rubbed his wrist while Shuri took a 3D scan. As soon as she was done, Peter snatched the web shooter, latching it on to his wrist. 

Shuri looked at him sympathetically, "You're safe here Peter, you don't have to worry about wearing those."

Peter nodded absent-mindedly, her words falling on deaf ears. "So what are your plans for them?" 

Shuri noted the change in subject but didn't say anything. "Well, obviously adding more web combinations, more web fluid storage, and enforcing them with vibranium."

Peter smiled, "Sounds great."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Again." T'challa said.

Peter sighed, resuming his sparring stance. He had been woken at dawn, and, after eating a quick breakfast, he and T'challa had been training. It was almost high noon. These training sessions are fairly common, happening usually every other day. T'challa told Peter that he was getting better, but the teen wasn't convinced. 

Although he was exhausted, and ready for lunch, Peter pushed himself to keep going. T'challa lunged, and Peter clumsily blocked, losing his balance and falling over. "That is enough for today," T'challa announced. "We will practice more overmorrow."

Peter sighed, slowly standing up. "You are getting better Peter," T'challa smiled but any man is sloppy when he is tired."

"You're not," Peter replied. 

"I'm not tired," countered T'challa. "C'mon, it is high time for lunch."

"I'll say," agreed Peter, using a towel to dry his face. 

T'challa glanced at the teen's wrist. "You are not wearing your web shooters."

Peter looked down confusedly, "Huh. Guess I forgot to put them on this morning after being woken so early. I haven't been wearing them at night anymore."

T'challa grinned, "That is good Peter, that is progress."

"Progress worthy of a huge lunch?" Peter asked hopefully.

T'challa chuckled, "You teenagers, always so hungry. We shall see what the cooks have made, after we shower." 

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Tony, I love it here." Peter exclaimed. Every week he and Tony would video chat to talk about life and how Peter was doing. "I no longer feel like I have to wear my web shooters all the time, I've advanced a lot in my fighting, and me and Shuri have made tons of improvements to my suit. We also made another one it's midnight blue with black accents, we called the nightcrawler. And, get this, ereyesterday I actually won a fight against T'challa. Repeat the king of Wakanda in a fight!"

"That's awesome kid," Tony smart, "but you're sure he wasn't just going easy on you?"

Peter rolled his eyes, "the bruises on my side attest to the fact that he wasn't."

Tony's brow furrowed, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be? Besides, I make sure to sink a few good punches myself." Peter smiled happily.

Tony was silent for a while. Finally he spoke up again, "How would you feel about coming home again?"

"Really?" Asked Peter

"Really." Replied Tony.

Peter thought about it. "Yeah... Yeah, I think I'm ready to."

Tony smiled, "See you seem then kid."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Only two days later, Peter was on a jet back to New York. He had certainly loved staying in Wakanda, but was happy to be home to Tony, his friends, and of course, his aunt. That arranged that Peter would visit Tony every other evening and spend the weekends with him. The rest of his time he would be staying with Aunt May. 

When he arrived to the apartment, he immediately flopped onto the bed. He hadn't realized how long had actually been away from home. A full year had passed since he had been kidnapped, and Peter was doing good. Maybe not perfect, and some days were certainly bad, but Peter was better. So much better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors note:  
I hope to be publishing another chapter this weak. I joined what is called the crazy writing week that goes till Tuesday I believe, theyoungwriter.com/challenge . It is put on by the Young writers workshop. A phenomenal group for any aspiring writers. It has really motivated me to write more. 

We are actually pretty close to finishing this book, and I am super happy. I've enjoyed it, but honestly, I've been writing fanfiction Non-Stop for close to a year, so once this is complete I'll be taking a hiatus. If I publish it will probably only be on my one shot book, for a while. 

I want to thank everyone so much for reading when commenting on my works it inspires me so much and makes me happy to know that so many people are enjoying my work.  
Lots of love,  
Siri


	23. College?

Last chapter everyone. Thank you for reading, and sticking all the way through this wild rollercoaster. 

Please Read!!   
*I'm really bad at filler chapters. So we are going to skip to I don't know how how long are school year... gods, thinking...uh. it's the end of the next school year, Peter just graduated that afternoon. Great let's get onto the story.*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Not so much lemon, MJ!" Peter warned. They are in the kitchen at the tower making supper together. Peter had been chopping peppers when he turned around and saw MJ add the juice of three lemons to the sauce. 

"Why? I like it sour, reminds me of humans." Stated MJ.

Peter sighed. No going back now. Peter dumped the bowl of freshly cut vegetables into the pan. Hugging MJ's waist, Peter watched as she sauteed the vegetables in the sauce. 

"Why don't you drain the noodles, then we can add the everything together," MJ said when food was almost cooked. Finally, they were able to sit down with their meal at the table on the balcony. Thankfully Tony had taken Pepper on a date, so they could have a peaceful evening. 

Peter warily took a bite, remembering how much lemon had been added. "Huh. It tastes really good," He said.

MJ raised an eyebrow, "Were you expecting it to taste bad?"

Peter laughed, "Only extra lemony." MJ smiled, shaking her head.

After cleaning up the dishes, the two relaxed on the couch. "Before we do anything else, I have something for you," MJ began. "It came in the mail a few days ago and Tony thought tonight would be a good night for you to see it." Opening the side table's drawer, she pulled out a large envelope. 

Peter softly gasped when he saw who it was from. MIT, his dream college. He wasted no time tearing into the package. MJ watched smiling as his eyes flitted over the page, reading every word. "I've been accepted," breathed. "MJ I've been accepted! I'm going to MIT!"

Peter pulled MJ into a tight hug, "I can't believe this is real, I can't believe this is actually happening."

"Congratulations Peter," MJ replied. Peter laughed happily, and kissed his girlfriend. Today was the best day ever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The summer had passed. Fall had come. And so it was time for Peter to leave. Both his rooms had been packed away in boxes. He said goodbye to his friends last night. Peter stood in the doorway, scanning his room for anything he may have missed. Tony stepped up beside him placing a hand on his shoulder. "Ready kid? We've got a long drive before us."

Peter nodded slowly, "Y-yeah, I'm ready."

~~~

During the drive both May and Tony tried to relieve Peter from his obvious anxiety about moving. And for the most part, it worked. They laughed, told jokes, and sang with the radio. 

Shortly after arriving, they were on their way to his dorm. It only took two trips for them to carry in all his boxes and two suitcases. Peter claimed an area for himself, as his dormmate had not yet arrived. Remembering everything that had happened in the last year, Peter suppose it had been a good thing his identity was revealed. At least this way he wouldn't have to worry about hiding it from his roommate. 

After helping Peter unpack and returning the boxes and a suitcase to the vehicle it was time for May and Tony to say goodbye. Peter embraced May for several minutes, his aunt whispering reminders and words of encouragement. When they separated, both were crying. "I love you, Peter."

"I love you too May, so so much." Peter replied.

"You'll do good here Peter I know it. Be safe." She added. Peter nodded, watching as she left so he and Tony could be alone.

"You going to be alright kid?" Tony asked worriedly.

"I will be," assured Peter. "I..." He trailed off, at a lost for words. "Here." He handed Tony an envelope. "Read that at home...it says everything."

Tony tucked the letter into his pocket and pulled Peter in for a hug. "I'm so proud of you Peter."

"Thank you Tony, for everything." Peter said, staring at him. "I love you."

"I love you too kid."

~~~

An hour after they have left Peter heard a faint knock at the door. Rising from his bed, he opened the door and saw whom he presumed to be his roommate. The guy looked a little older than Peter and a little taller too. He had curly brown hair and a mischievous, snarky grin. He was alone, with only a box, a backpack and a suitcase. 

"Hello," Peter greeted, "I'm Peter Parker."

The guy grinned, "Nice to meet you Peter Parker. I'm Harley, Harley Keener."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony sat on his bed later that night, the white envelope in his hands. Carefully, he opened it and began to read:

Dear Tony,

I know that when I finally say goodbye I will forget everything. That's why I decided to write a letter. From the very first time we met you have been so good to me. You always believed in me and never gave up, even when I had given up on myself. I will always remember all the late nights in the lab, all the movie marathons, and all our strange conversations. You stuck with me through the highs and the lows, the late nights and even the sleepless ones. You gave me advice and encouragement whenever I needed it. You stuck by me Tony, and that's more than I could ever ask for. Whether you know it or not, I love you, and I truly think of you as a father. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

-Underoos

Tears were streaming down Tony's by the time he finished, but he knew that Peter was going to be okay. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter's alarm clock blared annoyingly loud in his ear. Groaning he looked at the time, 7:12 a.m.. Way too early for anybody to be awake. Glancing at his phone he saw one new message from Tony:

Hey kid,

Go easy on yourself, okay? You're doing the best you can, you always have and you always will, and that's enough. Today, will be good. I promise. I love you.

Peter smiled, and texted back:

I love you too. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And so the story ends


End file.
